September 18th, 2002

Steam Escaping!

trial and error

So starts my trek down another blogesque trail. I'll probably import all my stuff from my other blog over here, and redirect the url for it to here. I dunno, this client seems interesting, but I'm defintely going to have to explore page formatting more. I'm on hold now with some travel agency company that is trying to jive me out of 70$, and I'm annoyed at that, and the fact that I can't listen to any music...
  • Current Music
    none, because i can't recall what soundcard is on my server's mobo
Steam Escaping!

stupid work

Yessir friends and neighboreenos... its blog contents transfer time. I guess if I were a lamer I could link all the old stuff here, but I'd prefer to close my blogger account now that I paid for livejournal which seems to be far superior.
Steam Escaping!


I think I may buy a gas scooter to get back and forth from the train, rather than bothering with a 5$ cab ride daily. Buying one would be about the same as one month of cabbing... with minimal maintence monthly... not sold on the idea entirely yet though...
Steam Escaping!

from @ 9/12/2002 02:01:21 PM


Alive the city ,
history and electricity
flows in poured cement
lamented and assured
with Gas lights
clear windows
dead eyes
and callused hands
growing from strong arms ;
this never was my city.

Alive the streets,

a rapid river
of loud roaring traffic
and the highways warm
trembles with the fear of the
farm boys
trembles at the power of the
trembles at the prodigy
The future.

Alive the death ,

a great man stands bronzed in
remembered only by the
as a place for them to
the homeless man the wisest man
tattered cloths news paper
remembered only by society
as a place for them to

Alive the jazzman ,

on the corner
seeps his soul through
brass valves
his weight held only on
he stops… silence
he don't wanna think no more
and I
like the jazz man
don't wanna
think no more.

Alive the seductress,

slender legs and
w o b bl y heels
selling her soul for
100 dollars
an hour
hating hating
A master of her own
filthy power
I put binoculars
between her kneecaps and
I can see where
Empires have fallen.

Alive the man with the

the superior man of today
the man of limited feeling
whose education consists of
education consists of
ready made actions to
ready made

Alive the young poets,

out their sex hungry
trying to act tough
trying to act like men
but really closer to their
mothers nipples
than to a true evaluation

Alive the men who make the

city ,
with dusty hands
and moist brow
behind brawd shoulders
that stand taller than the
who's hats and heads are
than the hammers they

Alive the people,

the thick headed bullbrained
hard on attitude
already forgotten ; the dead of
and Lincoln's stringy beard.

Alive the city,

and its marvelous sound
pulsing from concrete
humming from street lamps
and the millions of voices
imbedded in
and faces
flowing with
color and race
room after room
and building after building
of people with stories of
pain and prosperity.

A rain will come

clean the streets
clean the buildings
clean the filth
and forever the raging river
of chaotic Roaring traffic
will flow
and the soul of the city
will live eternally
not just in my mind
but in the graffiti
in the voices and hearts
of the people
and with the strength
of concrete

Alive the beginning

Alive the birth
Alive the life
Alive the love
Alive the soul
Alive the death
Alive the never
Alive my self

I wrote this a while ago... I was reading through my stuff and it struck me as interesting, mostly because the
meanings have twisted in my images from what I intended them to be. I wonder if that is an internal thing, or if other people feel the same way...
Steam Escaping!

from @ 9/12/2002 01:42:30 PM

Today's Bad Constitutional Amendment of the Day is Amendment XVII, which requires that Senators be elected by popular vote. There currently isn't much debate over Seventeen, and most people couldn't even tell you what it changed. Seventeen was passed in 1912 and ratified in 1913. It was passed to try to bring the government closer to the people, and the people closer to a true democracy. Previously, Senators were appointed by state legislatures, and there were procedural problems with deadlocked legislatures, unable to agree on a Senator. There were also allegations that legislatures could be easily corrupted. While Seventeen cleared away these problems, it created many more.

First, the popular election of Senators created all sorts of campain finance problems. With the passing of
Seventeen, senators were immediately beholden to special interests, and large campaign contributors. While this influence was recently addressed with the McCain-Feingold law, both Senators and special interests have been busy finding ways around it.

Seventeen also dealt a serious blow to state's rights. With states removed from the federal process, the checks
and balances the states had over the federal government was limited. The federal government not only began to expand uncontrollably, but it was empowered to impose its will over the individual states. Over time, mandates were imposed on the states, and the fed took control over some state institutions.

With the removal of checks and balances over the legislative branch, states were also removed from the
federal judicial process. With states no longer having an influence on the selection of federal judges, Seventeen also destroyed the checks and balances over the judicial branch.

With the Florida election problems of 2000, and now 2002, there is a movement to disband the electoral
college, and the checks and balances states currently have over the executive branch. This will remove the final check and balance states have over the federal government, and bring America closer to true democracy. While many people don't understand the difference between a democratic republic, and a true democracy, our founders understood the dangers of a true democracy and purposely established a representative government.

Democracy is a dangerous form of mob rule, where the will of the majority outweighs the rights of the
individual. To borrow an example from the great Dr. Williams, how would you like it if democracy decided whom you were to marry, or where you were going to work. You'd probably object, wanting to make those decisions for yourself. Democracy is also dangerous in that it lends credibility to immoral acts. You need only look as far as Zimbabwe to see that a majority of the people should not be allowed to impose will over the minority, just because they voted on it first.
Steam Escaping!

from @ 9/12/2002 10:08:52 AM

Exploding point of light
How did man fathom the heavens?
Rampaging ball of gas
10,000 years in the passing.

Bright blue five-pointed star
Supernova special
Were you divinely made
From a proprietary potion?

Cauldron of galactic magic
Colorful as peacock feathers
At a calculated distance
There are always safe limitations

The sword, the besom
Followed by the book of shadows
Behold the witch's broom
An ancient redshift remnant.
Steam Escaping!

from @ 9/7/2002 01:07:51 PM

Associated Press Overview of Changes to Legal Rights:

* FREEDOM OF ASSOCIATION: Government may monitor religious and political
institutions without suspecting criminal activity to assist terror

* FREEDOM OF INFORMATION: Government has closed once-public immigration

hearings, has secretly detained hundreds of people without charges, and
has encouraged bureaucrats to resist public records requests.

* FREEDOM OF SPEECH: Government may prosecute librarians or keepers of

any other records if they tell anyone that the government subpoenaed
information related to a terror investigation.

* RIGHT TO LEGAL REPRESENTATION: Government may monitor federal prison

jailhouse conversations between attorneys and clients, and deny lawyers
to Americans accused of crimes.

* FREEDOM FROM UNREASONABLE SEARCHES: Government may search and seize

Americans' papers and effects without probable cause to assist terror

* RIGHT TO A SPEEDY AND PUBLIC TRIAL: Government may jail Americans

indefinitely without a trial.

* RIGHT TO LIBERTY: Americans may be jailed without being charged or

being able to confront witnesses against them.
Steam Escaping!

from @ 9/3/2002 09:06:32 PM

Top 10 Censored stories in 2001:

1. FCC moves to privatize airwaves
2. New trade treaty seeks to privatize global social services
3. U.S. policies in Colombia support mass murder
4. Bush administration hampered FBI investigation into bin Laden family
before Sept. 11
5. U.S. intentionally destroyed Iraq's water system
6. U.S. government pushes nuclear revival
7. Corporations promote HMO model for school districts
8. NAFTA destroys farming communities in U.S. and abroad
9. U.S. faces national housing crisis
10. CIA double deals in Macedonia
Steam Escaping!

from @ 8/29/2002 12:45:10 PM

Sneeze's Allergy List:

Meeting People
Magical Darkness
Torch Smoke
Poo Gas
Drider Innards
Enraged Mephit
Mephit Innards
Quasi-Elemental Water
Pea Soup
Wet Horse
Giant Ant Death Scent
Burning Centaur
Being Bound and Gagged
Burnt Owlbear
Magical Appearing Mushrooms
Scroll Dust
Randomly Mixed Potions
Large Quantities of Iron
Magical Purple Mirror Emissons
Black Dragon Acid
Spectral Samurai
Wang'S Herbal Tea
Shadow Elemental Xorn
Magical Silence
Dormant Poison Gas
Skunk Musk
El Phoo Blanco
Carrion Crawler Innards
Sleep-Deprived Spellcasting
Talosian Ceremonail Incense
Wu-Jen Menttal Scorpion Innards (6-2001)
Burning Undead
Ear Smoke
Crushed Black Lotus Petal Powder
Smoking Black Lotus Petals
Ionized ightning Fried Mushrooms (5-8-01)
Interruted Ceremonial Magic (7-3-2001)

46 items and Growing since 1994...
Steam Escaping!

from @ 8/29/2002 11:15:18 AM

Spellsinger Prestige Class
Even when foreign and exotic, song can convey deep meaning and emotion more easily than words, and magic … Well, magic touches the soul in much the same way a song does, deeply, beyond words. Few mages have the skill or strong voices to adapt their magic to song, but some do.

Hit Die: d4.

Level/Att+/F/R/WAttack Bonus Fort. Ref. Will Special Spells per Day
1 +0 +0 +0 +2 Spellsinging, Guardian Melody,Bust a Funky Rhyme
2 +1 +0 +0 +3 Aural Verisimilitude, +1 level of existing class
3 +1 +1 +1 +3 Duo Voca
4 +2 +1 +1 +4 Song of Tongues +1 level of existing class
5 +2 +1 +1 +4 Sona Destrachane
6 +3 +2 +2 +5 Songbolt +1 level of existing class
7 +3 +2 +2 +5 Ambience
8 +4 +2 +2 +6 Songburst +1 level of existing class
9 +4 +3 +3 +6 Trea Voca
10 +5 +3 +3 +7 Choral Symphony +1 level of existing class

Spellcasting: Ability to cast at least four spells that have the [sonic] or [language-dependent]

descriptors, one of which must be 2nd-level or higher. Illusions that create sound, such as ghost sound or major image also count toward this requirement.

Perform: 4 ranks, including at least two types of vocal-based perform types (a cappella, ballad,

chant, choral, madrigal, melody, ode, opera, song, and othis/hers at the GM’s option).
Spellcraft: 8 ranks.
Class skills (and thekey ability for each skill) are
Animal Empathy (Cha,exclusive skill),
Concentration (Con),
Craft (Int),
Intuit Direction (Wis),
Knowledge (arcana) (Int),
Knowledge (nature) (Int),
Listen (Wis),
Perform (Cha),
Profession (Wis),
Scry (Int, exclusive skill),
Speak Language (none),
Spellcraft (Int),
Swim (Str),
and Wilderness Lore (Wis).

Skill Points at Each Level: 4 + Int modifier.

Weapon and Armor Proficiency:

A Spellsinger gains proficiency in light armor.

Spells Per Day: For the purposes of determining spells per day, caster level, and (for spontaneous spellcasters)
spells known, whenever a level as Spellsinger grants the ability “+1 level of existing class,” the character adds 1 effective level to one of his/her previous spellcasting classes.

Spellsinging (Su): Whenever casting a spell, a Spellsinger can choose to increase the casting time to at least
three full rounds by singing the spell instead of casting it traditionally. Spells that already require three full rounds or longer to cast do not increase in casting time, but still gain the benefits of spellsong. If he/she is unable or unwilling to complete this casting time, the spell fails wholly. Note that a Spellsinger may choose to continue singing beyond the minimum casting time, and though he/she cannot take any other actions while maintaining his/her spellsong (other than a 5-foot adjustment each round), he/she can choose to finish the spell as a free action.

If the Spellsinger chooses to cast a spell as a spellsong, the spell will always have a verbal

component, but will not require somatic components. Though spells cast this way have
no somatic component, most armor has poor harmonics that can ruin spellsongs. As such, the Spellsinger has the normal arcane spell failure chance for his/her armor, due to poor harmonics. Even if the spell cast is a divine spell, if it is sung, it can be disrupted by armor’s poor harmonics.

Another benefit of this ability is that the Spellsinger can cast spellsongs while treading water, or bound (but
not gagged), since he/she does not need his/her hands for somatic components. Though spellsongs take longer to cast than normal spells, Spellsingers can combine multiple spellsongs for greater effect. By delaying the completion of their spellsongs to the same moment, a group of

Spellsingers working cooperatively may choose from the following benefits.

While singing, the Spellsingers can sense each other’s intentions, and are thus able to coordinate which effects,

if any, they wish to use.

Choral Strength: In any group of simultaneous spellsongs cast by Spellsingers, add the highest Charisma
bonus out of all the Spellsingers to the spells’ saving throw DCs, in addition to the normal ability modifier. Thus, a sorcerer spellsinger could add his/her Charisma bonus twice.

Counterpoint: Just as a secondary melody can add an extra layer of meaning to a foreground melody, so can
Spellsingers sing in counterpoint to alter the power of their spells. In a group, all the Spellsingers may choose one spellsong as the primary, and use all other spellsongs to modify the main one. All spells but the main one have no effect when they are completed. Instead, the spell energy from those additional spells strengthens the primary spell. For each other spell, add the spell’s level to the primary spell’s effective level. These extra levels can be used for free metamagic that any of the Spellsingers possess as feats. The singer of the primary spellsong intuitively senses what metamagic feats are available out of the group, and can use any of those feats to modify his/her spellsong.

For example, Aehranda and another Spellsinger could work in conjunction. Aehranda casts the main spell -
shout - while her ally expends a 3rdlevel spell. The 3rd-level spell has no effect, but allows Aehranda to freely maximize the shout spell (maximize requires three extra levels of metamagic).

Harmony: With three or more spellsongs cast in harmony, if all of the spells target an individual creature or
object, the spell’s DC for that target is more difficult. The Spellsinger with the greatest bonus to his/her Perform skill checks makes a Perform check, and the result of this check is the spells’ DC for all targets the spells have in common. Even if the spells don’t have exactly the same targets, any target that is affected by three or more spellsongs simultaneously must overcome this harmonious song. Spellsongs that do not allow a saving throw do not count toward this requirement of three.

For example, engaged against a group of Sahuagin, Aehranda uses spellsong to cast a mass charm, while two of
her spellsinging companions cast a fireball and cloudkill, respectively. The most powerful Spellsinger in the group makes a Perform check, with a result of 30. Though they choose slightly different targets for their spells, any target caught by all three spells must save against DC 30 for those spells. If there is a large group of Spellsingers with a complicated overlapping of spells, this ability affects any creature or object affected by at least three spellsongs that are completed

Guardian Melody (Su): The Spellsinger’s unconscious control of the song always protects his/her from sonic
attacks. Whenever he/she makes a saving throw to resist an effect that a Bard’s countersong ability could protect against, he/she also makes a Perform check. He/she can choose to use either the normal saving throw or the Perform check as his/her saving throw result. This protection is constant, and applies only to him/her. However, a Spellsinger may also choose to spontaneously expend any prepared spell or spell slot of 2nd level or higher to create an effect identical to the Bard ability countersong. This ability can protect others, in addition to the Spellsinger.

Bust a Funky Rhyme (Ex): (as per game addendum)

Duo Voca (Su): At 3rd level, the Spellsinger gains the ability to manifest the ambient song that surrounds his/

her into a second singing voice. This is not his/her voice, but the essence of magical music, accompanying his/ her, obeying his/her command. The second voice sounds similar to his/her own, but slightly more distant, tinged with the subtle hints of eldritch inflection. The second song always obeys his/her will and can be silenced as a free action.

This second voice can be used to cast spellsongs, but not normal spells. As a unique exception to the normal
timing rules, when spellsinging, a Spellsinger gains a bonus action that can be used only to begin singing another spellsong. Obviously, this ability can only be used if one of the Spellsinger’s voices is unoccupied. If his/her concentration is threatened while attempting to cast two spellsongs at once in this way, the Concentration check DC is determined by adding the levels of the two spellsongs together.

For example, Aehranda could begin casting a summon monster III (3rd level) in the first round of combat with
her normal voice, then in the second round of combat begin casting a shout spell (4th level) with her duo voca. The casting time for these spells is increased to a minimum of two rounds, and if he/she was damaged while singing both spells, the Concentration check would be as if he/she were trying to cast a 7th level spell. Failure would result in both spells being disrupted.

If the Spellsinger chooses to have both spells finish simultaneously, his/her spells become more powerful just as
if two Spellsingers had been singing cooperatively. Thus, in round 1, he/she could begin a summon monster III, then begin a shout in round 2. The summon monster III spell would complete just before his/her action on round 3, but he/she could choose not to finish the spell until just before his/her action on round 4, when he/she would complete casting shout. The two spells would occur simultaneously, benefiting from the Choral Strength ability, and possibly Counterpoint.

Song of Tongues (Sp): Three times per day, a Spellsinger of 4th level or higher can cast tongues on his/herself.
However, the spell only translates song, so both sides must be singing to understand each other. Because Spellsingers tend to have melodious voices, few question when they hear one speaking to them in song, but a gravel-voiced Dwarf who has to reply in kind would often be uncomfortable.

Sona Destrachane (Su): Whenever a Spellsinger of 5th level or higher casts a spell with the descriptor [acid],
[cold], [electricity], [fire], or [force], he/she may choose to instead change this descriptor to sonic, so that a wall of fire would become a wall of thunder, and acid fog would damage targets with waves of sonic energy. The altered spell functions the same as the original, except for obvious differences. For instance, a sonic fireball cannot set things on fire. Modifying a spell with this ability increases its casting time the same as it would for a sorcerer altering a spell with a metamagic feat. Even if the Spellsinger normally prepares his/her spells, the casting time is still increased. However, actual spellsongs (which already take at least 2 full rounds to cast) are not increased in casting time.

Songbolt (Sp): As a full-round action, a Spellsinger of 6th level or higher may use his/her ambient song to
shout forth a sonic attack. The Spellsinger must succeed a ranged touch attack at a maximum range of 30 feet. If the attack hits, the target takes 1d6 points of sonic damage plus extra of sonic damage equal to the Spellsinger’s Charisma bonus, if any.

Ambience (Sp): Beginning at 7th level, a Spellsinger can subtly alter the ambient song around his/her to
arouse particular emotions. Once per day, the Spellsinger can cast emotion, with a 15ft radius, centered on his/herself. This effect lasts as long as the Spellsinger concentrates, and for a number of minutes thereafter equal to his/her Charisma bonus, if any. The Spellsinger chooses any emotion effect other than Fear or Rage, and the subtle music around his/her instills that emotion in the listeners. At any time during this ability’s duration, as a free action, the Spellsinger may designate which targets are or are not affected by the ambient song.

Songburst (Sp): An 8th-level Spellsinger may, as a full-round action, let his/her ambient song burst out in a
sonic blast. All creatures other than the Spellsinger within a 15 ft radius take 1d6 points of sonic damage, plus extra of sonic damage equal to the Spellsinger’s Charisma bonus, if any.

Trea Voca (Su): At 9th level, the Spellsinger can manifest a third voice from the ambient magical song. This
third voice sounds older and slightly deeper than the Spellsinger’s original voice. The trea voca has all the same abilities as the duo voca, including the ability to sing independently of the Spellsinger. It is thus possible for the Spellsinger to begin a spellsong in a first round, have his/her second voice begin singing in the second round, and then his/her third voice start in the third round. He/she could then delay to have all three songs complete just before his/her action on the fifth round. As with casting two songs, however, the concentration DC to maintain control of three songs is as difficult as if the spell levels were all added together.

If Aehranda attempted to cast summon monster III, shout, and mass suggestion, he/she would be casting the
equivalent of a 13th level spell for the purposes of Concentration checks.

Choral Symphony (Su): At earlier levels, with his/her duo voca and trea voca abilities, the Spellsinger could
begin singing several spells at once. At 10th level, he/she gains the ability to control the weave's voices independently of his/her own, allowing him/her to perform normal actions while his/her ambient song sings.

The Spellsinger can cast one spell each round as a free action, assuming both his/her additional voices are
unoccupied. However, in order to do so, he/she must expend an additional prepared spell or spell slot of the same level or higher than the spell he/she intends to cast. This ability manifests as a many-voiced choir that fills the air around the Spellsinger.

For example, a vicious demon has threatened Aehranda’s village, and he/she confronts it at the shoreline. As
she speaks with the demon, assuring it that it shall die for the suffering it has caused, an ominous chorus arises around her, swelling as her wrath intensifies. When Aehranda leaps to attack, the choral symphony crescendos, sending forth a crashing wave of magical energy and soaring force. As the battle progresses, Aehranda can continue to battle the demon in melee as a symphony of magic aids her.
Steam Escaping!

from @ 8/28/2002 09:27:40 AM

Top 11 reasons Dubya's lawyers say he can attack Iraq without provocation or the Constitutionally required consent of Congress.

11. He's just borrowing the keys to his father's 1991 consent.

10. Lawyers expect it will be easier to defend attacking Iraq than to keep Dick Cheney out of prison.

9. Hired legal team away from Vinson & Elkins, the firm that represented Enron.


7. 5-4 favorable ruling by the Supreme Court is guaranteed regardless of the absurdity of the argument.

6. Darth Cheney used the Jedi mind trick on them.

5. He's gonna do it anyway.

4. John Ashcroft is in charge of the complaint department.

3. It's a politically expedient outgrowth of the moral lassitude of the legal profession in the post-Clinton era

(Clinton's fault).

2. Al Qaeda killed a retriever puppy!

1. Dubya promised them all seats on the Supreme Court.

Steam Escaping!

from @ 8/27/2002 03:54:24 PM

Signs you are a major geek, # 4529: You purchase a 7200 RPM 120GB drive to mirror your important data, not realizing that after formatting the drivfe's actual storage capacity will be reduced to around 111GB, and even if it was at full capacity, its still not big enough to hold all your warez and mp3's.
Steam Escaping!

from @ 8/26/2002 12:33:22 PM

Date: Sunday, August 25, 2002 11:26 AM

From the office of:
Congressman John Conyers, Jr.
Fourteenth District, Michigan
Ranking Member, House Judiciary Committee Dean of the Congressional
Black Caucus
Contact: Deanna Maher (313) 961-5670 Cell: (313) 737-7944

Ted Kalo, Judiciary Committee

(202) 225-6906




Detroit, MI - Congressman John Conyers, Jr. has requested an immediate

investigation by the head of the Drug Enforcement Agency of the U.S.
Department of Justice, Asa Hutchinson, of DEA's possible misuse of federal
funds without proper authorization by Congress and in contravention of
existing law.. Conyers said: "It appears that the DEA has been actively
engaged across the country in collaboration with groups who are opposed to
ballot proposals involving reform of our drug laws. Michigan is one of the
states which will have a proposal of this kind on its November ballot.
Citizens opposed to this kind of ballot initiative clearly are permitted
to campaign and lobby in support of their point of view in an effort to
win public support for their position.

This is what our democracy is all about. But it is far from clear whether

federally funded agencies and their employees can be used to spread a
message or promote a campaign for or against a ballot initiative, on
federal property and on government time."

"The use of our local DEA office by those opposed to the Drug Reform

ballot initiative seems clearly in violation of Section 601 of Public Law
107-77 (November 28, 2001), which clearly states that no part of any
appropriation for DEA can be used for 'publicity or propaganda purposes'
not authorized by Congress".

"I am concerned that DEA has actively been involved in a campaign, both

locally and nationally, to oppose drug reform proposals which have been
properly and legally put before the citizens of this state for their
approval or rejection. There seems little doubt that the appropriations
for DEA are specifically prohibited from being used for this purpose.

This apparently unlawful involvement of the DEA to promote a political

agenda must cease immediately. We cannot allow the integrity of our
national government to be compromised for any purpose, regardless of the
intent of these over zealous federal activists. I am shocked that judges
in violation of their Canon of Ethics would participate as well."

The DEA's page in question is at
Steam Escaping!

from @ 8/26/2002 11:00:42 AM

Dancers' feet play chess
On the checkered dance floor
While Cadillac cowboys
Fill the air with western swing.
Matrons leave their bingo markers
In handtooled leather purses,
Dreaming of nights when
Lovers tasted smooth as whiskey.
They move across the room
Softly, sweetly, unwilling to
Disturb the mood, fearing
That tomorrow's memories will
Sour like milk left on
A windowsill in June
Or lose shape like a frothy dance dress
Left on a hanger too long.
Steam Escaping!

from @ 8/26/2002 10:01:50 AM

100 Ways to Order a Pizza

1.If using a touch-tone, press random numbers while ordering. Ask the person taking the order to stop doing that.

2. Make up a charge-card name. Ask if they accept it.

3. Use CB lingo where applicable.

4. Order a Big Mac Extra Value Meal.

5. Terminate the call with, "Remember, we never had this conversation."

6. Tell the order taker a rival pizza place is on the other line and you're going with the lowest bidder.

7. Give them your address, exclaim "Oh, just surprise me!" and hang up.

8. Answer their questions with questions.

9. In your breathiest voice, tell them to cut the crap about nutrition and ask if they have something outlandishly sinful.

10. Use these bonus words in the conversation: ROBUST FREE-SPIRITED COST-EFFICIENT UKRAINIAN PUCE.

11. Tell them to put the crust on top this time.

12. Sing the order to the tune of your favorite song from Metallica's "Master of Puppets" CD.

13. Do not name the toppings you want. Rather, spell them out.

14. Put an extra edge in your voice when you say "crazy bread."

15. Stutter on the letter "p."

16. Ask for a deal available somewhere else.

17. Ask what the order taker is wearing.

18. Crack your knuckles into the receiver.

19. Say hello, act stunned for five seconds, then behave as if they called you.

20. Rattle off your order with a determined air. If they ask if you would like drinks with that, panic and become disoriented.

21. Tell the order taker you're depressed. Get him/her to cheer you up.

22. Make a list of exotic cuisines. Order them as toppings.

23. Change your accent every three seconds.

24. Order 52 pepperoni slices prepared in a fractal pattern as follows from an equation you are about to dictate. Ask if they need paper.

25. Act like you know the order taker from somewhere. Say "Bed-Wetters' Camp, right?"

26. Start your order with "I'd like. . . ". A little later, slap yourself and say "No, I don't."

27. If they repeat the order to make sure they have it right, say "OK. That'll be $10.99; please pull up to the first window."

28. Rent a pizza.

29. Order while using an electric knife sharpener.

30. Ask if you get to keep the pizza box. When they say yes, heave a sigh of relief.

31. Put the accent on the last syllable of "pepperoni." Use the long "i" sound.

32. Have your pizza "shaken, not stirred."

33. Say "Are you sure this is (Pizza Place)? When they say yes, say "Well, so is this! You've got some explaining to do!" When they finally offer proof that it is, in fact, (Pizza Place), start to cry and ask, "Do you know what it's like to be lied to?"

34. Move the mouthpiece farther and farther from your lips as you speak. When the call ends, jerk the
mouthpiece back into place and scream goodbye at the top of your lungs.

35. Tell them to double-check to make sure your pizza is, in fact, dead.

36. Imitate the order taker's voice.

37. Eliminate verbs from your speech.

38. When they say "What would you like?" say, "Huh? Oh, you mean now."

39. Play a sitar in the background.

40. Say it's your anniversary and you'd appreciate if the deliverer hid behind some furniture waiting for your spouse to arrive so you can surprise him/her.

41. Amuse the order taker with little-known facts about country music.

42. Ask to see a menu.

43. Quote Newt Gingrich.

44. Say you'll be able to pay for this when the movie people call back.

45. Ask if they have any idea what is at stake with this pizza.

46. Ask what topping goes best with well-aged Chardonnay.

47. Belch directly into the mouthpiece; then tell your dog it should be ashamed.

48. Order a slice, not a whole pizza.

49. Shout "I'm through with men/women! Send me a dozen of your best, Gaston!"

50. Doze off in the middle of the order, catch yourself, and say "Where was I? Who are you?"

51. Psychoanalyze the order taker.

52. Ask what their phone number is. Hang up, call them, and ask again.

53. Order two toppings, then say, "No, they'll start fighting."

54. Learn to properly pronounce the ingredients of a Twinkie. Ask that these be included in the pizza.

55. Call to complain about service. Later, call to say you were drunk and didn't mean it.

56. Tell the order taker to tell the manager to tell his supervisor he's fired.

57. Report a petty theft to the order taker.

58. Use expletives like "Great Caesar's Ghost" and "Jesus Joseph and Mary in Tinsel Town."

59. Ask for the guy who took your order last time.

60. If he/she suggests anything, adamantly declare, "I shall not be swayed by your sweet words."

61. Wonder aloud if you should trim those nose hairs.

62. Try to talk while drinking something.

63. Start the conversation with "My Call to (Pizza Place), Take 1, and. . . action!"

64. Ask if the pizza is organically grown.

65. Ask about pizza maintenance and repair.

66. Be vague in your order.

67. When they repeat your order, say "Again, with a little more OOMPH this time."

68. If using a touch-tone press 9-1-1 every 5 seconds throughout the order.

69. After ordering, say "I wonder what THIS button on the phone does." Simulate a cutoff.

70. Start the conversation by reciting today's date and saying, "This may be my last entry."

71. State your order and say that's as far as this relationship is going to get.

72. Ask if they're familiar with the term "spanking a pizza." Make up a description to go with the term. Ask that this be done to your pizza.

73. Say "Kssssssssssssssht" rather loudly into the phone. Ask if they felt that.

74. Detect the order taker's psychic aura. Use it to your advantage.

75. When listing toppings you want on your pizza, include another pizza.

76. Learn to play a blues riff on the harmonica. Stop talking at regular intervals to play it.

77. Ask if they would like to sample your pizza. Suggest an even trade.

78. Perfect a celebrity's voice. Stress that you won't take any crap from some two-bit can't-hack-it pimple-faced gofer.

79. Put them on hold.

80. Teach the order taker a secret code. Use the code on all subsequent orders.

81. Mumble, "There's a bomb under your seat." When asked to repeat that, say "I said 'sauce smothered with

82. Make the first topping you order mushrooms. Make the last thing you say "No mushrooms, please." Hang
up before they have a chance to respond.

83. When the order is repeated, change it slightly. When it is repeated again, change it again. On the third
time, say "You just don't get it, do you?"

84. When you'ge given the price, say "Ooooooo, that sounds

complicated. I hate math."

85. Haggle.

86. Order a one-inch pizza.

87. Order term life insurance.

88. When they say "Will that be all?", snicker and say "We'll find out, won't we?"

89. Order with a Speak-n-Spell where applicable.

90. Ask how many dolphins were killed to make that pizza.

91. While on the phone, fake entering puberty. Fluctuate pitch often; act embarrassed.

92. Engage in some serious swapping.

93. Dance all around the word "pizza." Avoid saying it at all costs. If he/she says it, say "Please don't mention that word."

94. Have a movie with a good car chase scene playing loudly in the background. Yell "OW!" when a bullet is fired.

95. If he/she suggests a side order, ask why he/she is punishing you.

96. Ask if the pizza has had its shots.

97. Order a steamed pizza.

98. Get taker's name. Later, call exactly on the hour to say, "This is your (time of day) wake-up call, So-and- so." Hang up.

99. Offer to pay for the pizza with a public flogging.

If any of the above practices are rejected by the order taker,

100. Say, in your best pouty voice, "You let me last time."
Steam Escaping!

from @ 8/22/2002 10:19:55 AM

Chaoists usually accept the meta-belief that belief is a tool for achieving effects; it is not an end in itself.

It is easy to see how other people and cultures are the victims of their own beliefs. The horrors of Islam and the ghasty state of politics in sub-Saharan Africa, are obvious examples, but we rarely pause to consider the extent to which we are the victims of our own beliefs, and the ability we have to modify them if we wish.

It is perhaps worth considering the recent history of belief in Western cultures before mounting an attack on
the very foundations of the contemporary world view. For about a millenia and a half the existence of "God" was an incontrovertible fact of life in Christendom. It was never questioned or thought to be questionable.

Hideous wars and persecutions were conducted to support one interpretation of deity against another. Learned
men wrote thousands of books of theoology debating points which seem utterly tedious and idiotic to us now, but the central question of the existence of "God" was never considered. Yet now, the belief in "God" as the author of most of what goes on in the world has been almost competely abandoned, and belief in even the existence of an absentee "God" is in most places fading. Satanism as an anti-religious gesture is now a waste of iconoclastic talent. The alchemists, sorcerers and scientists of the late Middle Ages and the Renaissance won a stupendous posthumous victory. Their questioning of the medieval world view started a rot that brought the whole edifice down eventually.

We can laugh looking back on it now, but I assert that we now live under a collective obsession which is even
more powerful and will appear equally limiting and ridiculous to future historians.

Since the eighteenth century European enlightment, a belief has grown to the point where it is now so all-
pervasive, and so fundamental a part of the Western world view, that one is generally considered mad if one questions it. This is a belief that has proved so powerful and useful that virtually everyone in the Western world accept it without question. Even those who try to maintain a belief in "God" tend to place more actual faith in this new belief for most practical purposes.

The dominant belief in all Western Cultures is that this universe runs on material causality and is thus
comprehensible to reason. Virtually everyone also maintains a secondary belief that contradicts this - the belief that they have something called free will, although they are unable to specify what this is - but I will deal with that later. We spend billions every year indoctrinating our young with the primary belief in material causality in our schools. Our language, our logic, and most of our machines, are built largely upon this belief. We regard it as more reliable than "God".

Now, it has been one of the functions of the Magician to try and break through to something beyond the
normal. My own magical quest has always had a strongly antinomian and iconoclastic element, and I long ago decided to go for broke and attack the primary beliefs of our culture. Religion is too easy a target as it is already fatally disabled by our ancestors, the Renaissance sorcerers and scientists. Contemporary Satanists are waisting their efforts. Ideology is thankfully beeing gradually replaced with economics. The main thrust of my Chaoism is against the doctrine of material causality and secondarily against most of the nonsense that passes for modern psychology.

Anyway, now I have to firstly try and convince you that there is something seriously wrong with material
causality, and that there is something that could supersede it as a belief. These are vitally important questions for magicians, for since the demise of essentially spiritual descriptions of magic, the belief in material causality has been increasingly used in a haphazard fashion to form various ill-conceived metaphors such as "magical energy" or "magical force" which are tactily presumed to be something analogous to static electricity or radio waves. This is, I think, complete bullshit. Magic can sometimes be induced to behave a bit like this, but it is not a very effective description.

Before attempting a frontal assault on material causality I shall backtrack a little to gather ammunition. Few
people noticed that in the 1930`s a serious crack was discovered in the fabric of material causality which, on the grounds of faith alone, was supposed to cover everything. This crack was called Quantum Physics, and it was pre-eminently Niels Bohr who, with his Copenhagen Interpretation, poked a finger into the crack and prised open a wrap to reveal a different reality.

Basically Bohr showed that this reality is better modelled by a description of non-material causality operating
probabilistically not deterministically. This may sound tame at first, but the implications for our everyday view of the world and for our theories of magic are awesome. It brought to an end the era of the clockwork universe paradigm which began over two hundred years ago and which almost everyone still believes in their guts, even if they cannot formulate it precisely. I urge magicians everywhere to give thanks by drinking what is probably the best lager in the world, for it was the Carlsberg Brewery in Copenhagen that supported Bohr and his colleagues while they did the physics.

The majority of straight scientists find quantum physics as distasteful as a priest would find witch-craft. If
they have to use it they prefer not to think about the implications. Even Einstein, who started quantum physics going but made his major contribution in Relativity, felt repelled by its implications, on ground of scientific faith and residual Judaic belief, and wasted much of his later life campaining fruitlessly against it.

Quantum physics says to me that not only is magic possible in a world that is infinitely Chaotic than we
thought, but that magic is central to the functioning of this universe. This is a magical universe not a clockwork one. Causal materialist beliefs were a liberating and refreshing breath of fresh air after a millenia and a half of monotheism, but now, at their zenith, they have become tyranny. Relativity and the fundamental physics associated with it are probably close to a final refinement of the causal materialist paradigm, and as such they now seem a terrible prison. For all practical purposes they confine us to this planet forever and rule out magic from our lives. Quantum physics, which I believe currently to be basically an investigation of the magical phenomena underlying the reality most people have perceived as non-magical for the last two hundred years, shows us a way out.

It may be some time before any significant portion of humanity learns to believe the new paradigm in their
guts and live accordingly, but eventually they will. Until then it is bound to sound like discom- bobulating gobbledgegook or tarted-up intellectualism to most people.

I would like to mention my other favourite iconoclasm in passing without explanation. I reject the
conventional view of post-mono- theistic Western psychology that we are individual unitary beings possessing free will. I prefer the description that we are colonial beings composed of multiple personalities; although generally unafflicted with the selective amnesia which is the hallmark of this otherwise omnipresent condition. And that secondly there is no such thing as free will; although we have the capacity to act randomly, or perhaps one should say more precisely stochastically, and the propensity to identify with whatever we find ourselves doing as a result.

All the gods and goddesses are within us and non-materially about us as well, in the form of non-local

I consider that all events occur basically by magic; the apparent causality investigated by classical science is
merely the more statistically reliable end of a spectrum whose other end is complete Chaos. However, I would like to end with a few words about how my Chaoism affects my personal activity in what is ordinaryly called

There are for me two main aspects of magic; the parapsychological and the psychological. In enchantment and
divination I believe that the magician is attempting to interact with nature via non-material causality. He is basically exchanging information with his environment without using his physical faculties. Austin Osman Spare precisely identified the mental manoeuvres necessary to allow this to occur. The manoeuvres are startlingly simple and once you have understood them you can invent an unlimited number of spells and forms of divination. The manoeuvres are sacred but the forms of their expression are arbitrary; you can use anything at random. Bohr and Spare are for me Saints of the Church of Chaos.

I consider that when a magician interacts with those apparently sentient sources of knowledge, inspiration and parapsychological ability that used to be called spirits, gods, demons and elementals, he is tapping into the extraordinary resources that each of us already contains. When activated they may also receive some input via non-material causality from outside. Yet since we all contain such a rich multitude within our own unconscious or subconscious and can also receive congruent information from the collective unconsciousness as it were, then the possibilities are practically limitless. Given the correct technique one can invoke or evoke anything, even things which did not exist before one thought of calling them. This may sound like complete Chaos, and I have to report that my own researches confirm that it is!

Chaos Magic for me means a handful of basic techniques which must be adhered to strictly to get results, but
beyond that it offers a freedom of expression and intent undreamt of in all previous forms of magic.
Steam Escaping!

from @ 8/21/2002 04:04:54 PM

Bold men in trench coats swarm
like flies up a ramp to hell.
Some fall back and try
again - others just fall.
Eyes staring but not seeing,
mouths open yet not speaking.
Shaking, trembling,
shivering, line after line they file.
Don't question just do -
'Your Country Needs You'!

A fog descends, an eerie mist

that the sun cannot burn away.
No ordinary fog is this - it
makes men cough, choke, and cry.
Boyhood dreams have become
mans' nightmares.
Reassuring mothers there are
none, to nurse and protect
their brave young

A drifting sea of haze gives

way to a glowing light.
Thoughts of home and safety
entwined with thoughts of dread.
Mixed emotions that can't be
fathomed, swirl around inside their head.
Strong hands reach out to comfort,
like anaesthesia they help ease pain.
Sleep is calling - its power
almost stirs them to rise and try again.

Night arrives, but this is no

ordinary night - dawn does not appear.
Coarse blankets that had
covered keep cold away no more,
Tranquillity has descended and
has banished the canons roar.
Peace is overwhelming, a
peace so deep and calm.
It lifts the spirit upward to
a place not cold but warm.

Bold men in trench coats march
in time, on their way to..
Steam Escaping!

from @ 8/21/2002 11:13:05 AM

Does light have mass?

The short answer is "no", but it is a qualified "no" because there are odd ways of interpreting the question which could justify the answer "yes".

Light is composed of photons so we could ask if the photon has mass. The answer is then definitely "no": The
photon is a massless particle. According to theory it has energy and momentum but no mass and this is confirmed by experiment to within strict limits. Even before it was known that light is composed of photons it was known that light carries momentum and will exert a pressure on a surface. This is not evidence that it has mass since momentum can exist without mass.

Sometimes people like to say that the photon does have mass because a photon has energy E = hf where h is
Planck's constant and f is the frequency of the photon. Energy, they say, is equivalent to mass according to Einstein's famous formula E = mc2. They also say that a photon has momentum and momentum is related to mass p = mv. What they are talking about is "relativistic mass", an outdated concept which is best avoided. Relativistic mass is a measure of the energy E of a particle which changes with velocity. By convention relativistic mass is not usually called the mass of a particle in contemporary physics so it is wrong to say the photon has mass in this way. but you can say that the photon has relativistic mass if you really want to. In modern terminology the mass of an object is its invariant mass which is zero for a photon.

If we now return to the question "Does light have mass?" this can be taken to mean different things if the light
is moving freely or trapped in a container. The definition of the invariant mass of an object is m = sqrt{E2/c4 - p2/c2}. By this definition a beam of light, is massless like the photons it is composed of. However, if light is trapped in a box with perfect mirrors so the photons are continually reflected back and forth in the box, then the total momentum is zero in the boxes frame of reference but the energy is not. Therefore the light adds a small contribution to the mass of the box. This could be measured - in principle at least - either by an increase in inertia when the box is slowly accelerated or by an increase in its gravitational pull. You might say that the light in the box has mass but it would be more correct to say that the light contributes to the total mass of the box of light. You should not use this to justify the statement that light has mass in general.

It might be thought that it would be better to regard the relativistic mass as the actual mass of photons and
light, instead of invariant mass. We could then consistently talk about the light having mass independently of whether or not it is contained. If relativistic mass is used for all objects then mass is conserved and the mass of an object is the sum of the masses of its part. However, modern usage defines mass as the invariant mass of an object mainly because the invariant mass is more useful when doing any kind of calculation. In this case mass is not conserved and the mass of an object is not the sum of the masses of its parts. For example the mass of a box of light is more than the mass of the box and the sum of the masses of the photons (the latter being zero). Relativistic mass is equivalent to energy so it is a redundant concept. In the modern view mass is not equivalent to energy. It is just that part of the energy of a body which is not kinetic energy. Mass is independent of velocity whereas energy is not.

Let's try to phrase this another way. What is the meaning of the equation E=mc2? You can interpret it to mean
that energy is the same thing as mass except for a conversion factor equal to the square of the speed of light. Then wherever there is mass there is energy and wherever there is energy there is mass. In that case photons have mass but we call it relativistic mass. Another way to use Einstein's equation would be to keep mass and energy as separate and use it as an equation which applies when mass is converted in energy or energy is converted to mass as in nuclear reactions. The mass is then independent of velocity and is closer to the old Newtonian concept. In that case only total of energy and mass would be conserved but it seems better to try to keep conservation of energy. The interpretation most widely used is a compromise in which mass is invariant and always has energy so that total energy is conserved but kinetic energy and radiation does not have mass. The distinction is purely a matter of semantic convention.

Sometimes people ask "If light has no mass how can it be deflected by the gravity of a star?" One answer is that
any particles such as photons of light, move along geodesics in general relativity and the path they follow is independent of their mass. The deflection of star-light by the sun was first measured by Arthur Eddington in 1919. The result was consistent with the predictions of general relativity and inconsistent with the Newtonian theory. Another answer is that the light has energy and momentum which couples to gravity. The energy- momentum 4-vector of a particle, rather than its mass, is the gravitational analogue of electric charge. The corresponding analogue of electric current is the energy-momentum stress tensor which appears in the gravitational field equations of general relativity. A massless particle can have energy E and momentum p because mass is related to these by the equation m2 = E2/c4 - p2/c2 which is zero for a photon because E = pc for massless radiation. The energy and momentum of light also generates curvature of space-time so according to theory it can attract objects gravitationally. This effect is far too weak to have been measured.
Steam Escaping!

from @ 8/21/2002 10:55:53 AM

A BLACK Dragon Lies Beneath!

I took the Inner Dragon online quiz and found out I am a Black Dragon on the inside. If there ever was an aparition of Evil, my Inner Dragon is it. Blackies are a fairly common dragon and are considered one of two harmonious dragons. My antithesis is the White Dragon. Together, we embody the Yin and Yang concept of eastern religions.

But I couldn't care less about that garbage. I like to chomp things, cause trouble, and seek unjustified revenge.

My favorable attributes are the Moon, the stars, dreams, psychic guidance, seeking truth, and helpful dark magic. Everybody's still got to watch out for me though, because deep down I like to smite at random and have a nasty breath weapon combination of Fire and Acid. *evil grin* Fun, no?
Steam Escaping!

from @ 8/21/2002 10:14:16 AM

"Free my hand and I'll varnish this floor with your brains!"

(from "The Scarlet Citadel" by Robert E. Howard.)

Sometimes when you are threatened with physical violence, a weapon to
defend yourself with is not always available. Your hands, however, are always
with you, and can be as lethal as any weapon. Below are a list of attacks that
police are instructed not employ, as they may prove deadly.

1. TEMPLE - A very susceptibile vital spot. If struck with sufficient

force, may cause unconsciousness or death.

2. NASION - This is the summit of the nose. If struck with sufficient

force may cause death.

3. PHILTRUM - This is the area between the upper lip and the bottom of

the nose. Attack to this area may also cause unconsciousness or

4. HOOK TO JAW - A powerful hook punch to the front side of jaw may

snap an enemy's neck. Fatal.

5. ADAM'S APPLE - A sharp blow here may cause enemy to asphyxiate.

6. SOLAR PLEXUS - The small of back. May cause death.

7. TESTICLES - The strong, focused pain of a vicious low blow may

cause shock, resulting in death.

8. BASE OF CEREBELLUM - A powerful blow to the nape of the neck,

causing mortal damage.

9. COCCYX - A powerful blow to the tail bone. Fatal.

10. FULL NELSON - Stand behind the enemy, put your arms under his, and

lock your hands behind his head. Bending the neck forward may either
break neck, asphyxiate enemy, or cut of supply of spinal fluid to
brain, causing brain damage or death.

11. HALF NELSON - Again, standing behind enemy, but one arm is used to

pin one of enemy's arms.

12. BRAIN BUSTER - Bend enemy over towards you, placing him in a

headlock. Grab the back of his belt, and haul him into the air,
vertical, upside-down. Allow yourself to fall backward, landing on
your enemy's head, which will absorb your combined weight. Most
effective on concrete or gravel.

13. RUSSIAN OMELET - Cross enemy's legs. Fold enemy by pinning his

shoulders to ground upside-down and placing his legs above him. Sit
on his legs, folding the bass of the spine. Fatal.

14. HEART PUNCH - A strongman's attack, it is simply a powerful blow

to the heart. (Many years ago, the wrestler Ox killed an opposing
wrestler with this attack.)

15. UPPERCUT - An upward strike to the bottom of the jaw with the heel

of the hand, causing the enemy's head to snap backward. May shatter
vertabrae. Fatal.

16. ABDOMEN - A substantial blow to this area may rupture a vital

organ, causing death.

17. RIB CAGE - A vicious shattering of the rib cage may cause grave

internal bleeding.

18. HEAD-TO-WALL PUNCH - A swift, hard, cold-cock punch to an enemy's

face while he is standing near a wall may drive his head into it,
causing the back of the skull to shatter fatally.

19. PINNED DROP KICK - Standing behind enemy, holding his arms

straight back. A drop kick to the back without releasing arms may
severe spine, causing death.

20. HEAD WRENCH - Grabbing an enemy's head by the mouth and the back

of the skull, then twisting with a sudden, violent jerk to rend
vertabrae, may easily cause death.

21. CHOKE HOLD - Once a favorite of law enforcement officials, has

often proved deadly. The right arm goes over the enemy's right
shoulder, and grips the back of the head. The left arm comes over his
left shoulder, reaches across neck, and grabs own right forearm. With
enough pressure applied, causes brain damage or death.

22. HEAD YANK - Bend enemy forward, grab head, and pull back with

convincing force. May seperate delicate vertebrae, causing death.
Steam Escaping!

from @ 8/19/2002 11:28:04 AM

Vampires don't drink blood.

Vampires don't wear tuxedoes, run from crosses, perish in the sunlight, look like debonair barons or gothic- punk bikers.

That's all a bunch of bull left over from when Brahm Stoker and his contemporaries sublimated vampirisim
into a sexual metaphor. They plastered the repressed social mores of the Victorian era onto the vampire icon, obfuscating virtually all the truth. They did get some of the symptoms right: pale skin, weakness, eventually wasting away to nothing. They didn't know what it was then, but we know now. They were describing tuberculosis.

Vampires, before being co-opted by the Victorians, were the embodiment of death, disease, and plague. That's
why the Nosferatu were grotesque. Why do you think that all the things that kept them away were purifiers - the holy water, the stake of pure rowan wood, the garlic? Plague spread from the dead to the living? Think about it and it makes a lot more sense. Vampires are disease incarnate.

Some parts of the modern myth have it right. Kind of. There's more than one type of vampire. They classify
themselves with a complex hiearchy based on the kind of disease that they carry and the virulence of that disease. Supposedly, they consider it their responsibility to monitor us, keep us from overbreeding ourselves into starvation or some other disaster. If that's true then they kept us in check for a long time with lepers and other plague-carriers, but we started to fight back. We invented pennicillin and some of our more successful modern vaccines and they ran scared for a while. Now they're back with a vengeance: AIDS, ebola, and a new strain of West Nile Virus stretching from Florida to southern CA.

That's why I took this job. There aren't many people who really understand how diseases really get started. I
learned all about it from my mother, who learned from her father, who learned from his mother. This knowledge is a gift, and I want to use it to help the world.

My name is Marianne Helsing, and I work for the Center for Disease Control, field operations division.

Yeah, Stoker got the names right too.
Steam Escaping!

from @ 8/19/2002 10:47:02 AM

Certain experiments, not as carefully controlled as the above, were carried out by independent researchers with caduceus-wound coils. This was also called a "Tensor" coil by its main proponent, Wilbert Smith.

The caduceus coil basically consists of ordinary insulated copper wire wound in a double-helix around a ferrite

First. this apparatus has zero impedance - unlike an ordinary coil. when fed electrical energy the wire in the Tensor coil does not get hot.

Secondly. it has infinite resonance - unlike an ordinary coil which will resonate chiefly at its natural
fundamental frequency and weakly on the 2nd or 3rd harmonic, the Tensor coil is capable of resonating strongly on any number of frequencies randomly spaced in the spectrum. The signal pumped into such a coil strangely enough cannot be quantified (detected) by standard RF (radio frequency) detection apparatus. Many "Ham" radio operators and electronic technicians who have used these coils, are completely baffled by them. One radio amateur found that with two such coils, one used as a transmitter and the other as a receiver, the second would not pick up the signal from the first unless they were precisely aligned for the signal to be transmitted the alignment had to be as critical as that of a laser beam.


A few investigators have also reported unexpected bizarre inertial effects in conjunction with these coils. One researcher activated his caduceus coil with pulsed bursts of microwave frequency whereupon it appeared to lift itself up by its own bootstraps executing a periodic series of little hops off the ground. Why the coil would jump like this or exhibit the other weird effects noted above, has no explanation under standard electromagnetic theory, and must be attributed to the field effect produced by the unique coil winding.


Looking at this coil configuration carefully we see that the oppositely wound wires of the double helix will cross each other on the opposite sides of the core's diameter with each complete turn. Hence, the coil will have two rows of bumps formed where the two wires cross, the rows placed diametrically opposite one another on the core.

Researchers claim that it is important for these crossover bumps to lie in a straight line. Now, when the high
frequency current flows in opposite directions through the two wires, the magnetic fields essentially cancel on the sides of the coil but on the top and bottom where the crossovers are, the fields overlap forming on the top magnetic vectors orientated in one direction parallel to the coil axis, and on the bottom vectors of the same magnitude oriented oppositely to those on top. If we observe the coil from the side we then see that the consecutive vectors along the coil axis would form several closed toroidal loops circulating into the ferrite core. As we stated elsewhere, Wilbert Smith himself while experimenting with the Tensor coil, claimed to have recorded time differential effects between the coil field and the outer environment. This phenomenon, as well as non-coupling of signal between coils, may arise from the unique trapped toroidal magnetic field described above.
Steam Escaping!

from @ 8/19/2002 10:37:37 AM

This is a list of 58 common indicators shared by most UFO abductees. It is based on known research on the subject and on personal findings. It has been compiled to help you determine if you are an abductee. Of course there may be other explanations for these occurrences and this is in no way an absolute means of knowing if you are an abductee. If you or someone you know does fit many of these traits listed here, PLEASE seek the help of a qualified researcher of therapist. This list is not in any particular order.

Ask yourself if you . . .

1. Have had unexplainable missing or lost time of one hour or more.

2. Have been paralyzed in bed with a being in your room.
3. Have unusual scars or marks with no possible explanation on how you received them (small scoop indentation, straight line scar, triangular marks, scars in roof of mouth, in nose, behind or in ears, etc.)
4. Have seen balls of light or flashes of light in your home or other locations
5. Have a memory of flying through the air which could not be a dream, or many dreams involving flying.
6. Have a strong "marker memory" that will not go away (i.e.: an alien face, an examination, a needle, a table, a strange skinny baby, etc.)
7. Have seen beams of light outside your home, or come into your room through a window.
8. Have had many dreams of UFOs, beams of light, or alien beings.
9. Have had a shocking UFO sighting or multiple sightings in your life.
10. Have a cosmic awareness, an interest in ecology, environment, vegetarianism, or are very socially conscious.
11. Have a strong sense of having a mission or important task to perform, sometime, without knowing where this compulsion is coming from.
12. Have a secret feeling that you are "special" or "chosen," somehow.
13. Have had unexplainable events occur in your life, and felt strangely anxious afterwards.
14. Have had several strange psychic experiences - such as knowing that something is going to happen before it happens.
15. For women only: Have had false pregnancy or missing fetus. (pregnant, and then not)
16. Have awoken in another place than where you went to sleep, or don't remember ever going to sleep. (i.e. waking up with your head at the foot of your bed, or in your car)
17. Have had a dream of eyes such as animal eyes (like an owl or deer), or remember seeing an animal looking in at you. Also if you have a fear of eyes.
18. Have awoken in the middle of the night startled.
19. Have strong reaction to cover of Communion or pictures of aliens. Either an aversion to or being drawn to.
20. Have inexplicably strong fears or phobias. (i.e. heights, snakes, spiders, large insects, certain sounds, bright lights, your personal security or being alone).
21. Have experienced self-esteem problem much of your life.
22. Have seen someone with you become paralyzed, motionless, or frozen in time, especially someone you sleep with.
23. Have a memory of having a special place with spiritual significance, when you were a youngster.
24. Have had someone in your life who claims to have witnessed a ship or alien near you or has witnessed you having been missing.
25. Have had, at any time, blood or strangel stain on sheet or pillow, with no explanation of how it got there.
26. Have an interest in the subject of UFO sightings or aliens, perhaps compelled to read about it a lot.
27. Have an extreme aversion towards the subject of UFO's or aliens - don't want to talk about it.
28. Have been suddenly compelled to drive or walk to an out of the way or unknown area.
29. Have the feeling of being watched much of the time, especially at night.
30. Have had dreams of passing through a closed window or solid wall.
31. Have seen a strange fog or haze that should not be there.
32. Have heard strange humming or pulsing sounds, and you could not identify the source.
33. Have had unusual nose bleeds at any time in your life. Or have awoken with a nose bleed.
34. Have awoken with soreness in your genitals which can not be explained.
35. Have had back or neck problems, T-3 vertebrae out often, or awoken with an unusual stiffness in any part of the body.
36. Have had chronic sinusitis or nasal problems.
37. Have had electronics around you go haywire or oddly malfunction with no explanation (such as street lights going out as you walk under them, TV's and radios affected as you move close, etc.).
38. Have seen a hooded figure in or near your home, especially next to your bed.
39. Have had frequent or sporadic ringing in your ears, especially in one ear.
40. Have an unusual fear of doctors or tend to avoid medical treatment.
41. Have insomnia or sleep disorders which are puzzling to you.
42. Have had dreams of doctors or medical procedures.
43. Have frequent or sporadic headaches, especially in the sinus, behind one eye, or in one ear.
44. Have the feeling that you are going crazy for even thinking about these sorts of things.
45. Have had paranormal or psychic experiences, including intuition.
46. Have been prone to compulsive or addictive behavior.
47. Have channeled telepathic messages from extraterrestrials.
48. Have simply heard an external voice in your head, speaking to you, perhaps instructing or guiding you.
49. Have been afraid of your closet, now or as a child.
50. Have had sexual or relationship problems (such as an odd "feeling" that you must not become involved in a relationship because it would interfere with "something.")
51. Have to sleep against the wall or must sleep with your bed against a wall.
52. Have a fear that you must be very vigilant or you will be taken away by "someone."
53. Have a difficult time trusting other people, especially authority figures.
54. Have had dreams of destruction or catastrophe.
55. Have the feeling that you are not supposed to talk about these things, or that you should not talk about them.
56. Have experienced many things in this list, and recall your children or parents speaking of similar experiences on occasion.
57. Have tried to resolve these types of problems with little or no success.
58. Have many of these traits but can't remember anything about an abduction or alien encounter.
Steam Escaping!

from @ 8/19/2002 09:53:21 AM

In the beginning there was the One, the One who will be in the end.

The Earth and heavens were not, and day and night were not, but the One was and will be. Light

But Ialdabaoth the blind Demiurge broke free, proclaiming the word "I am". And thus disunity was created.

Ialdabaoth named things, and they were separated from the One. Thus he created the world.

First Ialdabaoth proclaimed "Let there be Saturn, the first and greatest of the Aeons!". And the Lord of Time was created, and Ialdabaoth saw that past was separated from future.

Then Ialdabaoth proclaimed "Let there be Jupiter, the Aeon of Separation!". And the Lord of Space was created,
and Ialdabaoth saw that above was separated from below.

Then Ialdabaoth proclaimed "Let there be Mars, the Aeon of Destruction!". And the Lord of Dust was created,
and Ialdabaoth saw that decay and imperfection ruled everything.

Then Ialdabaoth proclaimed "Let there be Mercury, the Aeon of Consciousness!". And the Lord of the Mind was
created, and Ialdabaoth saw that all things were distinguished and named.

Then Ialdabaoth proclaimed "Let there be the Moon, the Aeon of Spirit!". And the Queen of the Night was
created, and Ialdabaoth saw that the worlds were separated by the abyss of night.

Then Ialdabaoth proclaimed "Let there be Venus, the Aeon of Life!". And the Lady of Plants and Beasts was
created, and Ialdabaoth saw that all life grew, survived and died in endless cycles.

Then Ialdabaoth proclaimed "Let there be the Earth, the Aeon of Matter!". And Gaea, known as the Kingdom,
was created. And Ialdabaoth saw that the fragments of the One was trapped within shells of matter and movement, ruled by the urges of Venus, imprisoned by the ring-pass-nots of the Moon, the names of Mercury, the strife of Mars, the labyrinths of Jupiter and the eternities of Saturn. And he proclaimed: "Hereafter disunity will rule to the end of time!"

But then he heard the voice of Sofia, the wisdom of the One imprisoned within the fragments: "Thou hast
spoken the truth, O Lord of Dispersion. Disunity will rule to the end of time, but time itself will once die. One day the aeons themselves will die, and then unity will be restored". And then the One created the King of the Aeons, the Lord of the Sun, to guide the fragments towards

One day the Daughter will marry and unite with the shining King, and this will begin the great
Reconciliation. The One will gather together and the universe will be reunited.

In the beginning there was the One, the One who will be in the end.
Steam Escaping!

Bastard Blogger

It is at this point that blogger lost 5 months of content on me. It was at this point that I began hosting my own blog files. This is why I have no loyalty to blogger, and why I think livejournal kicks much butt...
Steam Escaping!

from @ 3/14/2002 10:14:21 AM

Once upon a real time, man walked in Xanadu.
Xanadu, a place of peace and harmony.
But man needed more than doves, he needed love.
Man and woman where sent to walk the Earth,
only to pursue forbidden Xanadu.
Zeus set the plan in motion.
He locked all the gates, doors, and docks.
For he knew mortal man would not let it be.
Man set forth on a quest he could one day meet.
Zeus called the Gods,
to protect the entrances man would find.
Thor with his thunder and Triton with his seas.
Would block the entrances to you and me.
The God of Dreams, Morpheus would not let it be.
He would not help Zeus discourage me.
So he set forth to help man,
on his quest of the forbidden Xanadu.
At night, he keeps Xanadu alive in the hearts of men.
He gives us plan after plan to reach that land.
We sail on ships that end up in the deep.
We brave the storms that block our pass through mountain steep.
We tell the storms that we will pass over the peaks.
With Morpheus in our dreams and love in our heart,
one day we will not walk in the dark.
Xanadu a place, deep in our heart.
Steam Escaping!

from @ 3/10/2002 09:19:47 PM

Maybe I need a chance to disassociate from life. A rife set of circumstances might make things right. I fight to ostracize slight and require respect from those who loathe me. Clothing seems pointless when you wander around lonely focusing solely on the cement giants that surround you. Their eyes beating down on you, their faces frowning upon you, you finally realize that you are a failure. I failed? The inconceivable has just been conceived. Disbelief freely dances around my tattered head and spins so fast that my vision becomes obsolete. Concrete devils revel in their own self-assurance. Pure amazement and awe in spite of the actions that have just taken place. I make my way to the cell in which I'll stay for another few years and maybe my tears will dry by the time I awake. For my own sake I'll bake my brain with pain until I become utterly insane and make the same mistakes I made in years prior, no shame. I came into this world and I can take myself out without a shadow of a doubt. Laughing hysterically sometimes I find I release demons, but scurry to catch them and make sure I will feel depressed once again. That's what I live for. My core is surrounded by black dust and must I tell you again that I am not a man, but a spirit? Share it with your friends so I don't have to repeat it again. I mend friendships then destroy them. Employ them and fire them. Entice them and leave them chasing dangling carrots for hours and then laugh and tell them to hit the showers. I'll see you tomorrow. Sorrow is an emotion that I have felt often and often dismissed it as quickly as it came. Though pain sometimes brought it back to stay for a day or two longer, but I would eventually conquer and move on. I am fond of disillusion though, it's some form of confusion, but once fused with a conclusion it becomes fact, isn't that grand? I can smell fear like a maggot on a corpse that's been dead since Monday, I bet on Sunday they didn't know where their next meal would come from. It's fun to take shots at the weaker species like me as we've all learned. Sometimes it burns, but most times it washes off with a wet rag and some soap. It makes it easier to cope when I mope around and feel down, but sometimes if I smile I might be labeled as 'in denial,' whatever denial means. Everyone's a fiend in some way, some are just fiends in dumb ways, mundane ways, crazy ways. Do you understand what I'm saying? Stop playing with your food, you can't acquire knowledge without the information available to you. So don't throw it on the floor for the dog to eat or you will get beat with the meat you abandoned, figuratively speaking of course. Of course! I haven't lost my mind, I just haven't found it yet, then I hope to lose it quickly like the rest of you misty-eyed souls waiting in your dresser drawer for someone to pick you out and put you on. I've longed for a return to my first home, the womb. The room was so cozy and warm and I didn't breathe air, but ingested liquid. I was a fish with no memory beyond four seconds. Ignorance was blissful then. Now I'm unjustly put into a category called 'men.' I hate being criticized for being man, selfish creatures who consistently offend and cause harm. I had to adapt and change with the environment. I had to incorporate anger into my everyday life to survive. Crying was a sign of weakness in this world, you might be considered a girl. Girls whirled their hair and cared for their body as well as a deranged ape would in a room full of deadly chemicals. Intriguing to some, but to me was a bore. I didn't want to see any more of this madness on my own planet. Damnit, when will the asteroid crash it and mash it to bits in one furious hit? I guess we'll get what we get, or is it what we give? Doesn't matter really, does it? Ah, fudge it, for lack of profanity. Can it be that we are to be what we aren't to be and to see what we ought to see and be taught by the teachers inside of the trees? Teachers inside of the trees? Please. Be at ease with my uneasiness, I'm a bit nervous and erratic. I've just about had it with these addicts that panic when their life force is twenty seconds late. Geez guys, fate will have it whatever way fate wants it. Deal with it. Actually, have a meal with it. Sit down to a romantic seaside dinner with destiny and find out what the best in me is bound to be. I mean feel with it. Take a long walk along the pier with fear and peer into it's eyes and find out how much I truly despise it and it might just take the hint and hit the road. Oh no, how would I react if fear were to turn it's back and me and tell me, 'the lack of me in your life has made me feel unappreciated,' as it packs it's bags while it's eyes sag from the waterfalls that poured their only an hour earlier. Surely I can make it up, break it up and smoke it maybe. Toke it, fill my body with fear once again, but maybe I can't because I'm part of 'men.' Send me something out here, a life jacket or raft because I can't seem to grasp onto any respect out here on this rocky turf where the surf reaches astronomical size and girth. When the helicopter gets here, you can go first.
Steam Escaping!

from @ 3/6/2002 10:37:27 PM

Try not to cry for me, it should be easy, but everyone's different. We've spent time on this rock hoping to turn into a flock of eagles and be able to fly away. A shame we can't blame the person responsible for this craziness cause we don't know who it is. Is it Jesus, Buddha, Ghandi, science? My instincts say...actually my instincts are nonexistent. Distant thoughts of what is supposed to be done are there, but they're so cloudy I don't even recognize their presence. My essence is that of a peasant trying to please his king but never succeeding in his quest. The best he can do is act like a fool and hope his master will approve. Isn't that what we all do? Prove me wrong by the time the gong sounds and maybe then will you have found that you have achieved the impossible in record time. Kind man, don't walk away, please stay. Play with us in our jungle of despair, it's really quite fun in here, we promise. Cares just flush down the toilet along with all the other garbage my body carries. Share my misery. What misery? You know, the misery of contemptment. Ah, that misery. It fizzled out years ago, you're living in the past. My heart had a cast, but I sliced it off in rage, that bastard keeps me alive all the time without asking me. Basking in it's glory of life, well give me the courage and a knife and I'll take you right out of my chest with no regret. Everyone is betting against me, but they don't realize God sent me and I'm his son. But she says she's his daughter and he says he's also his son. We're all the same? What a confusing game. When I came here I hadn't met fear yet, it turned out to be a horrible, yet life saving emotion. When there was great commotion fear slowed everything down into slow motion so that I could savor the painful moments. Thank you fear. If you were an animate object I would dissect you and find out what makes you work. Fear does have it's, actually it doesn't. My cousin is my family, but I see fear more than him, it's not fair. But I really don't care any more, my chores have gotten so much more repetitive and I've lost interest, but still must feign. We're changing all the time, oh sublime higher power can you make me into a flower? So that the rains can shower upon me and make me grow until a little kid picks me in the middle of his little league baseball game and is stricken from playing because he was gazing at my beauty. Moody people never did it for me, they just never seemed to glitter for me. They're faces just kind of popped up in the litter for me. They were always a little too bitter towards me. They made a sinner of me, thanks! Now I can laugh all the way to the bank, or maybe it's to hell, either way someday I'll be off this rotting rock we call 'home.' When I get off I have a bone to pick with the creator, the maker of the madness, the baker of the badness, the forsaker of sadness, the shaker from which the pain sprinkles. Sometimes I think God is taking a tinkle on my head and laughing because I'm too naive to figure out what's happening. The lasting impression of depression is molded into my soul never allowing me to gain control again. As my mind bends and expends energy to rationalize God laughs and I cry. It's sort of a love/hate relationship. It's wonderful actually, he'll challenge me and I'll lose my balance and fall. I'll call his name when bad happens and praise myself when good happens. Somedays the sky blackens and a voice speaks out, 'you suck!' The sky turns blue and I turn green wanting to be that voice or at least have the choice to listen or not. The plot thickens as every second passes gas and makes the room unbearable, but I'm locked in and I injected the key into my brain but I can't find it any more. I knew being responsible would come in handy one day, so why didn't I learn how. Now I have to endure everything unpure. There is no known cure, the affliction is too obscure and everyone is just lured in like lost puppy dogs. They can't understand my language so I'm trapped like a fat rabbit in his smaller brother's door. The more I try to escape the less likely it becomes. Being shun from every direction, not to mention the immense pressure in this spot, and not to complain, but it's kind of hot in here. Do you think you could turn on the air? I'm bare and brittle, and this fiddle does me no good without a little practice, but I'll just smash it anyway. So, within the next few days please lift this haze from here, it's kind of weird, and to tell the truth I'm a little bit scared. I've shared so much of myself that I only have a tiny portion left for me and I'll defend that like it was my only source of nutrition because it is. 'Back off, you can't have it!' I scream as I jam it down someone else's throat and boast in my intelligence which turned out to be arrogance which morphed into ignorance. At second glance, I never even had a chance to prance in a flower field because no one would yield to let me in. I've been waiting for my moment to shine, but it's too late cause now I'm blind from watching others. Covered in welts my nose starts to swell from all the bullcrap that I've smelt since my first interaction with a female. I run to the boat that's docked right next to my mind and start to sail down my spine when I realize it's nowhere to be found. I guess I'll just sit here and drown, it's better than being discovered covered in fear, blood and rejection across the midsection and upper torso. For so long, maybe twenty-five seconds, I could hear birds chirping and my ex- girlfriends slurping on that other guy. Oh my, that was uncalled for Lord. When I said I was bored I didn't mean turn them into whores. The sounds push my foot to the floor and my heartbeat accelerates, I have an old soul so it can only hit about eighty-eight before I crash into fate and debate the meaning of my life until my life is just another exhausted topic. Walking back on the darkened pebble road I noticed a larger rock and mocked it cause it was so out of place. My face was glowing in laughter when suddenly I realized that the point is void once you turn thirteen. That sure was mean of all those people to keep me here that long. I have no choice now but to go on ahead down this pebbled road and feel sympathy for those large rocks because on a bigger road with bigger pebbles I'm the bigger rock and someone is mocking me every seven minutes until the day I'm kicked off the road and into seclusion, which I believe is called 'Heaven.'
Steam Escaping!

from @ 2/20/2002 01:56:33 AM

Marken under Chronopia Šr underminerad av kloaker och andra tunnlar som grŠvts under hundratals Œr. En kvŠll nŠr rollpersonerna gŒr pŒ en šdslig gata trampar en av dem ned i ett gyttjehŒl i marken och fastnar. NŠr de andra fšrsšker hjŠlpa honom loss, rasar marken och alla ramlar ned i ett rum som hšrt till kŠllaren under ett sedan lŠnge fšrsvunnet torn. Insmorda med lera men annars oskadda, mŠrker de att rummet har en dšrr till ett annat rum. …ppnar de dšrren, kommer de in i en mŠrklig kammare som ger intryck av att ha stŒtt oršrd mycket lŠnge. Rummet Šr Œttakantigt och i dess centrum finns en stol av sten, uthuggen ur klippan. Framfšr stolen ligger resterna av ett bord och ett flertal besynnerliga fšremŒl. De ser ut som stora, fšrvridna ljusstakar av koppar och fšrgyllt silver. Enbart materialet Šr vŠrt ett par tusen silvermynt. Alltihop Šr šversŒllat med runor och tecken som ger intryck av att fšremŒlen har nŒgot med magi att gšra (KŠnna magi ger dock ingen fšrnimmelse av magisk utstrŒlning). DŠr ligger ocksŒ en fin anteckningsbok i skinnband, pŒ vars omslag det stŒr TIDSSTUDIER. SL bšr vŠcka spelarnas intresse fšr anteckningsboken, eftersom hela Šventyret hŠnger pŒ den. PŒpeka gŠrna att boken verkar vara fullklottrad med nŒgon sorts magisk kod, och kan tŠnkas vara en vŠrdefull magisk formelbok. Detta torde vara uppenbart redan vid en fšrsta inspektion. Den som klarar ett svŒrt fŠrdighetsslag fšr Finna Dolda Ting (slŒs dolt av SL) upptŠcker att ett par av metallfšremŒlen Šr mŠrkta med orden "Loc-Dawn". NŠr RP kommer upp till markytan igen mšts de av det lokala gatugŠnget, som (1) skrattar ut dem fšr att de Šr sŒ lortiga och (2) tvingar dem att lŠmna ifrŒn sig allt vŠrdefullt som de bŠr pŒ. ("Det hŠr Šr vŒrt omrŒde. Allt som hittas pŒ gatan hŠr tillhšr oss".) Eftersom det redan finns flera gatugŠng att vŠlja bland, beskriver vi inget sŠrskilt gŠng i det hŠr Šventyret. SL kan anvŠnda nŒgot av de gatugŠng som finns beskrivna i grundreglerna (sid 188-189). Se till att gatugŠnget bestŒr av sŒ mŒnga personer att RP inte gŠrna angriper dem. Gšr klart fšr spelarna att gatugŠnget Šr hŒrda typer, turligt nog Šr de bara intresserade av vŠrdesaker som hittats i gropen. Om inte rollpersonerna sjŠlvmant lŠmnar den ifrŒn sig Šr gŠnget inte intresserade av boken, eller fattar inte att den hšr till fynden. Skulle det bli strid, kommer FridsvŠktare i Šnnu stšrre antal Šn gatugŠnget och bryter upp brŒket. Resultatet bšr bli att RP mister allt de kŒnkade pŒ nŠr de kom upp ur rashŒlet, utom anteckningsboken. Det har viss betydelse att de pŒ nŒgot vis fŒr ha den kvar. Antingen i brŒket eller nŠr alla Šr pŒ vŠg frŒn platsen intrŠffar ytterligare en incident. En goblin kommer rusande ur en mšrk grŠnd, sliter Œt sig ett av de blanka fšremŒlen och fšrsvinner, fšrfšljd av ett par busar ur gatugŠnget. Goblinen rusar rakt fšrbi RP men de hinner inte fŒ tag pŒ den. Rollpersonernas lilla missšde sŠtter nu igŒng en rad andra hŠndelser som delvis ligger utanfšr deras kontroll. Boken de funnit har i sjŠlva verket tillhšrt Mauretius, en beršmd trollkarl som levde fšr flera hundra Œr sedan. Den innehŒller svŒrtydda anteckningar som kan leda RP till Mauretius hemliga verkstad. Fšr att lyckas ta sig dit och kanske lŠgga beslag pŒ Mauretius skatter mŒste RP tyda anteckningarna och hitta ingŒngen. Men inget sker obemŠrkt i Chronopia, och andra krafter Šr redan i ršrelse... MŠrkliga hŠndelser Om rollpersonerna vill lšsa mysteriet med den upphittade anteckningsboken, finns det flera saker de kommer att bli tvungna att gšra. Steg 1: Antingen fšrsšker de tyda boken sjŠlva (med Kunskap om magi), eller sŒ anlitar de en utomstŒende magiker fšr att gšra det. Detta ger dem information om bokens ursprung och innehŒll. Steg 2: Sedan mŒste de med stor sannolikhet besška Arkitekternas Gille fšr att fŒ tag pŒ de kartor som behšvs fšr att pricka in platsen fšr Mauretius verkstad. Steg 3: NŠr de rŠknat ut rŠtt plats mŒste de gŒ dit och grŠva fram ingŒngen. Steg 4: NŠr de kommit in i Mauretius kammare rŒkar de ut fšr magiska saker som fšrmodligen ingen vŠntat sig. VŠgen frŒn fyndet av anteckningsboken till Šventyrets slut kan alltsŒ tyckas enkel och logisk. Men RP kommer att rŒka ut fšr ett flertal hŠndelser som sŠtter kŠppar i hjulen fšr dem. HŠndelser som kan verka slumpartade, men som i sjŠlva verket har ett intimt samband med bokfyndet. Syftet med dessa hŠndelser Šr dels att tillfšra Šventyret mer action och spŠnning, dels att ge RP en kŠnsla av att de har startat nŒgot som blivit mycket stšrre Šn de kunde fšrutse. Till sist Šr alla pŒ jakt efter dem: goblinerna, gatugŠnget, ett magiskt gille, den BlŒ Trollkarlen och kanske till och med kejsaren. Om de ska klara sig mŒste de balansera pŒ en knivsegg. Beroende pŒ var RP bor och hur de gŒr till vŠga Šr det svŒrt att fšrutse exakt nŠr dessa hŠndelser bšr intrŠffa. SL bšr lŠgga dem pŒ minnet och placera in dem vid lŠmpliga tillfŠllen. 1.RP blir angripna av gobliner, alternativt ser andra bli angripna. Detta kan samma dag som bokfyndet, efter nŒgra timmar, eller nŠsta dag. Se "Exalterade gobliner" nedan. 2.RP fŒr hšra att nŒgra personer tydligen Šr eftersškta av dunkla makter i stadens undre vŠrld. Signalementet stŠmmer in pŒ dem sjŠlva. Om de inte maskerar sig pŒ nŒgot vis, finns det risk fšr att de kan bli igenkŠnda. Se "Eftersškta!" nedan. 3.Som en fšljd av "efterlysningen" kan RP rŒka ut fšr ett bakhŒll frŒn gatugŠnget, tas tillfŒnga och bli av med anteckningsboken. Alternativt, om de inte lŒter sig luras i bakhŒll, kan det bli inbrott i deras bostad. 4.En dag hŠnder nŒgot mŠrkligt ute i staden. Alla klocktornen bšrjar slŒ, men pŒ fel tid och i otakt. Det blir ett šronbedšvande, okontrollerat ringande. Klockorna visar olika tid, nŒgot som aldrig intrŠffat fšrr. NŒgon minut senare sker en vŠldig explosion uppe i evighetspalatset. Man kan se en stor byggnad dŠr uppe (men naturligtvis inte hela det enorma kejserliga palatset) rasa samman, och det klocktorn som stŒr nŠrmast berget rasar ocksŒ. Stor fšrvirring uppstŒr i staden, och hundratals soldater ur Svarta Gardet stršmmar ut pŒ gatorna fšr att upprŠtthŒlla ordningen. En stund senare ser man Œtskilliga tidsmager som ršr sig pŒ stadens gator, pŒ vŠg till de olika klocktornen. NŒgon fšrklaring ges dock inte, och en mŠngd rykten sprids. Ingen tycks veta vad det var som hŠnde. Efter tre-fyra timmar gŒr alla klockorna rŠtt igen, och kejserliga tjŠnare Šr i fŠrd med att Œteruppfšra det rasade klocktornet. (Den hŠr hŠndelsen har ingen direkt effekt pŒ rollpersonerna just nu, men SL bšr beskriva den noga eftersom RP kommer att fŒ uppleva den senare, pŒ nŠrmare hŒll!) 5.En natt fŒr RP ett magiskt skrŠmselmeddelande. Detta bšr ske efter att RP har konsulterat en utomstŒende magiker och/eller besškt Arkitekternas Gille. Se "VŒlnad" nedan. Exalterade gobliner NŠr gatugŠnget tog ifrŒn RP allt de fick med sig upp ur gropen, var en tjuvaktig goblin framme och norpade Œt sig ett av fšremŒlen. Olyckligtvis Šr fšremŒlet mŠrkt med orden Loc Dawn, vilket en ovanligt intelligent goblin lyckas tyda. Goblinerna tror fšrst att det Šr legendens magiska Loc Dawn de funnit, och ett tusental gobliner samlas fšr att bevittna undret. Med "Loc Dawn" i spetsen gŒr de dŠrpŒ raskt till anfall mot huset Degas torn, švertygade om att de Šr ošvervinnerliga och att hŠmndens timme Šr slagen. Chronopia ska nu rensas frŒn slšddret, och Œter bli goblinernas egen Šrorika stad! Snart ligger mer Šn 100 gobliner dšda pŒ gatan, tillsammans med en del alver. De šverlevande goblinerna inser sakta att nŒgot Šr fel och att fšremŒlet de funnit inte kan vara Loc Dawn. Detta leder till stor fšrvirring, och redan samma kvŠll stršmmar hundratals gobliner till platsen fšr raset dŠr fšremŒlet fšrst kom i deras Šgo, fšr att sška efter en fšrklaring. NŠr de inte finner nŒgot vid raset, minns goblinerna att gatugŠnget lade beslag pŒ en massa saker. De gŒr till angrepp mot gatugŠngets hšgkvarter. DŠr kommer det till ny strid och flera dšdas pŒ bŒda sidor. Men gatugŠnget har redan sŒlt alla fšremŒlen, sŒ goblinerna finner inget. Goblinen som stal fšremŒlet minns att det fanns nŒgra leriga personer pŒ platsen ocksŒ. DŠrfšr Šr nu alla gobliner i staden pŒ jakt efter personer med lera pŒ klŠderna (ingen av dem Šr tillrŠckligt smart fšr att tŠnka pŒ att RP kan ha bytt klŠder). Dussintals personer som har leriga klŠder blir angripna. Horder av gobliner sliter av dem alla Šgodelar och lŠmnar dem nakna pŒ gatan. Skulle rollpersonerna inte ha bytt klŠder eller gjort sig ordentligt rena efter episoden med raset, kommer de att rŒka ut fšr just detta. Ett 40-tal fanatiska gobliner šverfaller dem, och lyckas RP inte vŠrja sig fŒr de kanske gŒ hem med rumpan bar. (Det har alltsŒ viss betydelse att SL hŒller reda pŒ hur mŒnga plagg rollpersonerna Šger och om de gšr nŒgot Œt leran...) Om rollpersonerna har bytt klŠder eller lyckats tvŠtta sina plagg rena, blir de i stŠllet vittnen till hur ett par leriga grovarbetare rŒkar ut fšr goblinernas angrepp, mitt pŒ gatan i fullt dagsljus. Folk som bott i staden lŠnge sŠger att de aldrig sett goblinerna sŒ djŠrva. Goblinerna tror att Loc-Dawn fanns i det Œttakantiga rummet, men att den nu stulits (igen!) och kan Œterfinnas nŒgonstans i staden. …verallt slinker gobliner runt och sšker. Rollpersonerna bšr kunna lista ut att "leriga personer" och "Loc Dawn" har nŒgot att gšra med dem sjŠlva och deras fynd i gropen. Eftersškta! NŠr gatugŠnget slickat sina sŒr efter striden mot goblinerna, inser de att det mŒste ha funnits nŒgot bland de fšremŒl de tog frŒn rollpersonerna, som Šr av stort vŠrde fšr goblinerna. De tar kontakt med sina hŠlare och undersšker alla fšremŒl som de kan fŒ tag pŒ, men utan att hitta nŒgot. Slutsatsen blir att rollpersonerna mŒste ha haft nŒgot som gŠnget missade. Kanske kommer nŒgon ihŒg den lilla anteckningsboken. Hur som helst, gatugŠnget bestŠmmer sig fšr att leta reda pŒ rollpersonerna och ta fšremŒlet, vad det Šn Šr. Eftersom det hittades pŒ deras omrŒde tillhšr det dem! Budskapet sprids i stadens undre vŠrld att en belšning Šr utfŠst. Ett signalement som stŠmmer rŠtt vŠl in pŒ rollpersonerna gŒr frŒn den ene till den andre. Detta bšr RP fŒ reda pŒ, lŠmpligtvis nŠr de befinner sig pŒ nŒgot vŠrdshus fšr att Šta eller dricka. Vid ett bord intill dem sitter nŒgra skumma personer, och en av RP hšr vad de talar om. "TvŒ hundra klingande silvermynt, sŠger jag. Det Šr som har nŒgot otalt med de dŠr figurerna och Šr mycket angelŠgna att fŒ tag pŒ dem. Allt du behšver gšra Šr att tipsa mig om du ser dem. Fšlj efter dem och se var de bor nŒnstans, och kom sen till mig. Hur de ser ut? Jo, det Šr... . RP kan nu vara smarta nog att fšrsška Šndra sitt utseende pŒ nŒgot vis, och kolla att de inte Šr skuggade innan de gŒr till sin bostad. Ett annat sŠtt att undvika uppmŠrksamhet Šr att inte ršra sig ute pŒ stan som en grupp, utan gŒ tvŒ och tvŒ. Risken fšr upptŠckt Šr 50% varje timme som man befinner sig ute bland folk, om man inte vidtar lŠmpliga ŒtgŠrder. Om nŒgon har fŠrdigheten SkŒdespeleri kan denne hjŠlpa de andra att maskera sig. Detta minskar risken till 25% per timme. Blir RP igenkŠnda har de fortfarande chans att mŠrka att de Šr skuggade (UpptŠcka fara) och undvika att gatugŠnget fŒr reda pŒ var de bor. Skulle nŒgon kŠnna igen RP och lyckas rapportera det till gatugŠnget, kommer RP att bli skuggade av gŠngmedlemmar, och om gŠnget fŒr ett tillfŠlle kommer de att fšrsška lura RP i ett bakhŒll. Detta Šr en episod som SL kan ta med i Šventyret om det behšvs fšr att fŒ mer strider och spŠnning. HŠndelsen kan hoppas šver om man sŒ šnskar, men bšr drabba rollpersonerna om de inte gšr nŒgot fšr att undvika att bli igenkŠnda. BakhŒll GatugŠngets bakhŒll bestŒr i en enkel list. NŠr rollpersonerna Šr pŒ vŠg nŒgonstans och passerar en sidogata ser de tvŒ sluskar som hŒller pŒ att fšrsška vŒldta en ung kvinna. Hon skriker, de fšrsšker slita av henne klŠderna. Om RP ger sig in i grŠnden fšr att ingripa, visar det sig att vŒldtŠkten bara Šr teater - de tre personerna Šr alla med i gatugŠnget och sŒ snart RP kommer fram till dem mšts de av dragna vapen. Samtidigt omringas de av ett lŠmpligt antal andra gŠngmedlemmar som kommer ut ur en nŠrbelŠgen portgŒng. TŠnk pŒ att gatugŠnget inte Šr ute efter att dšda RP utan bara vill ha det vŠrdefulla som de fick med sig upp ur gropen. Om de lyckas hitta RP och locka dem i bakhŒll, kommer de att fšrsška klŒ upp dem och ta alla deras vŠrdesaker inklusive anteckningsboken, om den finns hos dem. Blir det strid anvŠnder gatugŠnget i fšrsta hand icke-dšdliga vapen sŒsom kastnŠt, piskor och klubbor. Det Šr tŠnkbart att RP vinner striden. I sŒ fall kommer gatugŠnget att fŒ sŒ pass stor respekt fšr RP att de inte gšr nŒgra fler fšrsšk att komma Œt dem. Men de kommer att bevaka RP hela tiden. Skulle gatugŠnget vinna striden bšrjar de med att sška igenom RPs klŠder. Eftersom inget av uppenbart vŠrde finns hos RP kommer gatugŠnget att slŠpa ivŠg dem till sin lokal och fšrhšra dem utfšrligt. Det Šr tydligt att gŠnget tror att RP fick med sig nŒgot vŠrdefullt, kanske magiskt, ur det underjordiska rummet. RP kan nu fšrsška fly frŒn gatugŠnget. Om inte, kommer de att hŒllas fŒngna dŠr i tvŒ dygn, varefter de slŠpps. Hade de anteckningsboken med sig nŠr de švermannades, kommer gatugŠnget att lŠgga beslag pŒ den, men de begriper inte innehŒllet och det kommer att ta tid fšr dem att skaffa fram en tolkning. RP har fšrstŒs mšjlighet att fšrsška stjŠla tillbaka den... Magikern Mauretius En av de mŠktigaste magiker som levat var den legendariske Mauretius. Han bodde i Chronopia men fšrsvann plštsligt fšr 400 Œr sedan. Idag minns man honom som en mŠktig och fruktad magiker, sŒ mŠktig att folk i hans omgivning trodde att han tŠnkte utmana kejsaren om makten i staden. Men sŒ fšrsvann han, och det antogs allmŠnt att kejsaren tagit kŒl pŒ honom. Men sanningen Šr en annan. Mauretius var oerhšrt kraftfull men ganska tankspridd och inget vidare pŒ att rŠkna. Han fšrsškte i hemlighet att lŠra sig tidsmagi, och planerade att tillverka en magisk stav med vars hjŠlp han kunde styra tidens flšden. Fšr att gšra det var han tvungen att befinna sig pŒ exakt rŠtt plats i fšrhŒllande till tidsstršmmarna. Det tog honom flera Œrs experimenterande pŒ olika stŠllen i staden innan han fann den rŠtta platsen, under Evighetspalatset. Han blev tvungen att grŠva ett underjordiskt rum dŠr fšr att slutfšra sitt arbete. Men nŠr han utlšste sin magi visade det sig att han begŒtt ett allvarligt misstag. Han fastnade i ett tidslŒs dŠr hans kropp Šr i stasis (tiden stŒr stilla). Han befinner sig alltsŒ fortfarande i den underjordiska grotta dŠr experimentet skedde. Fšr att bryta magin behšvs ett ingripande utifrŒn, nŒgot som rubbar tidsstršmmarna. Trots sin kroppsliga fŒngenskap har Mauretius fortfarande viss mšjlighet att anvŠnda magi. Fšr att komma loss ur sin omšjliga situation sŠnde han en jordelementar med ett meddelande till dvŠrgarna. Han tŠnkte sig att de, som ŠndŒ arbetar under jorden, skulle ha stšrst chans att hitta honom och bryta magin. Meddelandet var avsett att locka dvŠrgar till den plats dŠr Mauretius finns, och pŒ sŒ vis lšsa hans dilemma. Det innehšll ett lšfte om belšning i guld och silver samt upplysning om det magiska ord som man mŒste sŠga fšr att befria Mauretius. Men Œter gjorde Mauretius en felberŠkning, meddelandet hamnade hos goblinerna i stŠllet fšr dvŠrgarna. Goblinerna var fšr korkade fšr att fšrstŒ hela innebšrden i meddelandet, och misstolkade det. I tron att en gud hade lovat dem evig lycka och rikedom, stršmmade de till Chronopia i tusental. De uppsnappade ordet "Loc-Dawn", vilket egentligen Šr det magiska ord som bryter magin och befriar Mauretius. Boken PŒ fšrsŠttsbladet Šr boken mŠrkt "Jag tillhšr Mauretius. Hittelšn till den som Œterfšr mig till Šgaren. HŠmnd och dšd Œt den som stjŠl." Det mesta av innehŒllet Šr skrivet pŒ nŒgot hemlighetsfullt sprŒk. Varje RP med nŒgon erfarenhet av magi ser att det Šr magisk kod. Fšr att lŠsa boken kan RP ta hjŠlp av en utomstŒende trollkarl med sŠrskilda kunskaper om magiska koder. En sŒdan kan de hitta hos GaldermŠstarnas Orden eller nŒgot annat magiskt gille. Med sŒdan hjŠlp fŒr man veta allt i tabellen nedan, mot en avgift. Fšrsšker en magiskt kunnig rollperson sjŠlv tolka innehŒllet slŒr du ett fŠrdighetsslag fšr Kunskap om magi. Man fŒr veta allt i tabellen nedan som har hšgre nummer Šn resultatet. 19. Mauretius var en mŠktig magiker som levde i Chronopia fšr ungefŠr 400 Œr sedan. 18. Mauretius fšrsvann plštsligt och ofšrklarligt. Hans kropp har aldrig Œterfunnits, ej heller minsta rest av hans Šgodelar eller magiska bšcker. 17. Bokens fšrsta del beskriver olika experiment med tidsmagi. (Eftersom de enda tidsmagerna i Chronopia Šr kejsarens, finns det ingen magiker tillgŠnglig som kan tyda anteckningarna exakt.) 15. Boken skulle antagligen vara vŠrd en del pengar om man fšrsškte sŠlja den till kejsaren, men det Šr ocksŒ mycket riskabelt. (Kejsaren gillar inte att tidsmagi utšvas utanfšr hans kontroll, risken Šr att RP kan bli utsatta fšr ett obehagligt fšrhšr...) 14. Bokens andra del beskriver geografiska och magiska berŠkningar som identifierar sex platser i Chronopia. Alla berŠkningarna utom den allra sista Šr šverkorsade. 13. BerŠkningarna i bokens andra del syftar till att finna en plats dŠr tidsstršmmarna har ett bestŠmt mšnster. 12. NŒgra sidor i boken ser ut som en kassabok med kolumner fšr silver- och guldmynt. MŠngderna vŠxlar mellan 20.000 och 50.000. Eventuellt kan det vara en fšrteckning šver hur mycket Mauretius hade i sin kassa. 11. Den sista av de šverkorsade berŠkningarna beskriver exakt den plats dŠr rollpersonerna hittade boken. 9. De tidsmagiska anteckningarna Šr inte skrivna av en riktig tidsmager, utan antagligen av en elementarmagiker som fšrsškt lŠra sig tidsmagi pŒ egen hand. 8. Den allra sista berŠkningen (den enda som inte Šr šverkorsad) verkar beskriva en plats i Chronopia, nŒgonstans vid Tempelbackarna. 6. Platsen vid Tempelbackarna (i den sista berŠkningen) verkar ligga under markytan, nŒgonstans nedanfšr Evighetspalatset. Det talas om en port "rakt mot havet" och en likbent triangel med spetsar i nordvŠstra hšrnet av Swamuras tempel och sydvŠstra hšrnet av Planoigon-templet. 5. Ordet "Loc- Dawn" fšrekommer pŒ en sida. 4. Vid det fšrsta experimentet finns en anteckning om att "anvŠnda Gnomen fšr att grŠva tunnlar och rum i jorden". 3. Vid experiment nummer tvŒ finns en anteckning "Skšld mot kejsaren och hans snokande hejdukar". 2. Bokens fšrfattare verkar ha varit mycket tankspridd. En del kommentarer fšrefaller helt ovidkommande, t.ex. "Kokt Šgg med pepparsŒs, lšrdag klockan 2" eller "Bada valpen pŒ mŒndag". 1. Magin i boken verkar syfta till att framstŠlla en magisk stav av fšrgyllt silver, med vilkens hjŠlp man kan fŠrdas genom tiden och Šndra tidens hastighet i fšrhŒllande till sig sjŠlv. Den plats som nŠmns under punkterna 8 och 6 ovan Šr fšrstŒs intressant. Den som lyckas fŒ informationen i bŒda punkterna kan Šven tolka anvisningarna. De omtalar en liksidig triangel och anger hšrnen pŒ tvŒ tempel som tvŒ av triangelns spetsar. DŠremot beskrivs inte triangelns tredje udd. Se vidare "Platsen" nedan. RP kan sška kontakt med en utomstŒende trollkarl fšr att fŒ hjŠlp att tolka boken. Oavsett vilket magiskt gille de vŠnder sig till hamnar de hos Zarthon. Han Šr inte nŒgon sŠrskilt mŠktig magiker, men gammal och mycket lŠrd. Zarthon Trollkarlen Zarthon har sin verkstad i gillets hus, och rollpersonerna blir visade in till honom dŠr. Rummet Šr inrett pŒ typiskt trollkarlsvis, fullt av gamla bšcker, besynnerligt formade glaskŠrl och andra mŠrkliga fšremŒl. Vid en bŠnk stŒr Zarthon ifšrd ett blŒtt fšrklŠde och Šr strŠngt upptagen med att blanda nŒgon dekokt. NŠr RP kommer in ropar Zarthon Œt dem att vŠnta en stund och inte stšra honom. Det tar ca 10 minuter innan han Šr redo att tala med dem. Kostnaden fšr Zarthons tjŠnster beror pŒ hur RP behandlar honom. Zarthon Šr en gammaldags trollkarl som fšrvŠntar sig respekt och artighet frŒn unga spolingar. UtgŒ frŒn en normal kostnad pŒ 100 SM och justera ±50 SM beroende pŒ hur det hela utvecklar sig. €r RP riktigt otrevliga kan det hŠnda att Zarthon avfŠrdar dem med pŒstŒendet att boken Šr vŠrdelšs och bara innehŒller enkla besvŠrjelser som alla trollkarlar fŒr lŠra sig nŠr de Šr lŠrlingar. Skšter sig RP kan Zarthon ge dem alla de informationer som finns i beskrivningen av boken (se ovan), inklusive triangelns tvŒ angivna hšrn. Medan han tolkar boken gŒr det dock upp fšr honom att boken har nŒgot att gšra med Mauretius och dŠrfšr blir han snart lite frŒgvis. Han vill veta vilka RP Šr, varifrŒn de fŒtt boken, var de bor, vem de arbetar Œt, osv. Vidare kommer han att berŠtta om saken fšr sitt gille. NŠr de skiljs Œt varnar han RP: "Om jag vore ni skulle jag inte ršra mer i det hŠr. Mauretius var en farlig herre, och det sŠgs att kejsaren tog kŒl pŒ honom till sist. Fšrsšker ni rota i den historien kan det hŠnda att ni fŒr Svarta Gardet efter er, eller nŒgot vŠrre!" Det magiska gillet Gillets mŠstare inser genast vilka faror det skulle medfšra om nŒgon fick tag pŒ Mauretius magiska skatter. Han samlar sitt RŒd och man planlŠgger hur man ska skydda sig. Beslutet blir att man ska skrŠmma rollpersonerna att inte leta efter Mauretius grav. Det blir Zarthon som fŒr i uppdrag att ombesšrja detta. Han gšr det tillsammans med flera andra erfarna magiker. VŒlnad Natten efter att RP besškt Zarthon kommer han att fšrsška skrŠmma dem genom att sŠnda en magisk uppenbarelse till dem. Det gŒr till sŒ hŠr: De fyra magikerna har tagit reda pŒ var RP bor, och smyger sig dit pŒ natten. En av dem (mentalist) anvŠnder Syn (sid 128) fšr att kolla vad som hŠnder i RPs rum. Sedan teleporterar han de tre andra in i RPs sovrum (Teleportera, sid 129). Om RP hŒller vakt, fšrsšker de ta kontroll šver vakten (Kontrollera person, sid 129). Efter snabba fšrberedelser gšmmer sig magikerna i ett mšrkt hšrn och startar sin magiska show. NŒgon gŒng under natten vaknar rollpersonerna och kŠnner en intensiv kšld. Det Šr en Glacial (sid 125 i grundreglerna) som frammanats av gillesmagikerna. En blŒskimrande skepnad tonar fram och antar formen av en gammal man med glšdande blick, klŠdd i vid mantel. Den som fšrsšker resa sig upptŠcker att han Šr insnŠrjd i …rtrankor (sid 118). RP hšr inom sig en fruktansvŠrd ršst (Telepati, sid 129) som sŠger: "Ve den som skŠndar min grav. Ve den som sšker mina skatter. SvŒra lidanden ska drabba er om ni fortsŠtter." Skepnaden fšrsvinner i tomma intet. NŠr "showen" Šr slut lŠgger magikerna Mšrker (sid 121) och Tystnad (ej i grundreglerna), varefter de avlŠgsnar sig. Om de behšvs kan de fšrstŒs ocksŒ …ppna lŒs. Hela historien sker sŒ snabbt att RP antagligen inte hinner trassla sig loss ur šrtrankorna. PŒ morgonen efterŒt upptŠcker rollpersonerna att flera fšremŒl i rummet har Šndrat form (FšrŠndra, sid 119 och Permanens, finns ej i grundreglerna). En stol har fŒtt sitsen tŠckt av vassa spetsar. Mattan pŒ golvet visar ett enormt, stirrande šga omgivet av eldsflammor. Handfatet Šr fšrvandlat till ett grinande rovdjursgap, fullt av sylvassa tŠnder. VŠrdshusvŠrden Šr inte glad Œt vad som hŠnt med inredningen! BlŒ Trollkarlen Till rŒga pŒ allt finns en fšrrŠdare i GillesmŠstarens RŒd, som spionerar Œt den BlŒ Trollkarlen. Snart fŒr denne reda pŒ saken. Han kŠnner fšrstŒs till Mauretius, och anar att om man hittar hans grav eller arbetsrum, kan dŠr finnas magiska bšcker och fšremŒl. Han bedriver dŠrfšr ett eget spioneri mot rollpersonerna och bevakar dem. Till detta ŠndamŒl anvŠnder han sina trogna hantlangare Fratiger och Prattel. (HyrsvŠrd: sid 150 i grundreglerna) Hans plan Šr att lŒta RP gšra jobbet och hitta skatten, varefter han sjŠlv tŠnker lŠgga beslag pŒ den. RPs mŒl blir fšrstŒs att hitta den plats som nŠmns i anteckningsboken - den liksidiga triangelns tredje udd - och se vad som finns dŠr. Det normala Šr att gŒ till Arkitekternas Gille och be att fŒ titta pŒ gamla kartor šver Tempelbackarna. Varje RP som har nŒgon av fŠrdigheterna KulturkŠnnedom: Chronopia eller Administration eller Maktens Korridorer, vet att det Šr hos arkitekterna man hittar kartor šver staden. Om RP sjŠlva lyckats lŠsa boken, och fšrsšker hitta platsen utan att anlita Arkitekternas gille, fŒr de snart problem. De mŒste gŒ till Tempelbackarna, hitta byggnaderna och med hjŠlp av linor mŠta upp en liksidig triangel med 400 meters sida, vid vars tredje spets ingŒngen Šr belŠgen. Det Šr knappast lŠtt eftersom andra hus har byggts sedan Mauretius tid (de stŒr i vŠgen) och omgivningen blir nyfiken nŠr RP bšrjar springa omkring med lŒnga linor... En del ŒskŒdare vill ge goda rŒd, andra vill veta vad RP hŒller pŒ med, folk stŒr i vŠgen, nŒgon skŠr av linan och fšrsšker stjŠla den. Genom att gŒ till Arkitekternas Gille och berŠkna platsens belŠgenhet med hjŠlp av en bra karta, kan RP bespara sig ett par dagars arbete. Arkitekternas Gille Det Šr lŠtt att hitta till Arkitekternas Gille. Det ligger i ett vrŠkigt hus vid Murargatan, fasaden Šr imponerande med pelare och reliefer som fšrestŠller beršmda arkitekter och symboler fšr byggnadsverksamet - murslevar, passare, vinkelhakar, vattenpass och sŒnt. Innanfšr den stora porten sitter en vakt som visar RP till arkivet, tredje dšrren till hšger. Dšrren Šr lŒst, och man mŒste knacka pŒ. NŠstan genast šppnas den och en liten flintskallig man med tunga šgonlock tittar ut och undrar vad RP vill. Den lille mannen Šr šverarkivarien Vidar Rensko. NŠr rollpersonerna fšrklarar sitt Šrende slŠpper han in dem, men Šr noga med att ta alla i hand. Den RP som har hšgst UPP lŠgger mŠrke till att Vidar gšr nŒgot konstigt med fingrarna nŠr man skakar hand med honom, han klŠmmer tre gŒnger med pekfingret pŒ den andres handled. FrŒgar man honom om detta verkar han dock inte veta vad man menar. Om rollpersonen dŠremot gšr likadant tillbaka, ler Vidar vŠnskapligt och bugar sig. Inne i arkivet stŒr rader av bokhyllor med stora volymer och hoprullade kartor. Om den mŠrkliga handskakningen besvarades enligt ovan, Šr Vidar mycket tjŠnstvillig och tar genast fram de šnskade kartorna šver Tempelbackarna. Om inte, Šr han dŠremot avvisande och sŠger sig inte ha tid att springa omkring och leta efter kartor. SŠrskilt inte med tanke pŒ hur dŒligt betalt han har... Vinken om att mutor šnskas Šr ganska tydlig. Vidar sŠger inte sjŠlv nŒgon summa, men ger man honom 50 SM blir han fullt tillfreds. FŒr han mindre Šn 50 SM mŒste nŒgon lyckas med fŠrdigheten Muta fšr att han ska ta fram kartorna. €r RP alldeles fšr snŒla kšr Vidar ut dem. Att angripa Vidar Šr oklokt. Vid vŠggen sitter en lina som han kan dra i. Gšr han det fŠlls ett kraftigt galler ned mellan hans skrivbord och arkivet, och en klocka ringer. Husets vakter stršmmar till. Gallret kan inte šppnas inifrŒn det hŠr rummet, enda vŠgen ut Šr samma vŠg man kom in. Vidar Renfot Šr ocksŒ en utvŠg fšr SL om RP inte anvŠnder nŒgon utomstŒende magiker fšr att tolka boken. I sŒ fall Šr det Vidar som blir orsak till att det magiska gillet fŒr veta om saken. Vidar Šr nŠmligen medlem i ett hemligt sŠllskap som sysslar med vŠlgšrenhet och šmsesidigt beskydd. Ibland fšrsšker de ocksŒ pŒverka stadens politik pŒ hemliga sŠtt. De flesta av sŠllskapets medlemmar hšr hemma i byggnads- och fastighetsbranschen, men nŒgra Šr magiker. Vidar trŠffar en av dem samma kvŠll och berŠttar om RPs intresse fšr tempelbackarna och allt annat han lyckats dra ur dem. Det hemliga sŠllskapet (som kallar sig Den Fyrfaldiga Dygdens Bršder) har stora ekonomiska resurser, men dess existens Šr okŠnd fšr alla utomstŒende. Handskakningen Šr en av deras hemliga igenkŠnningssignaler. NŠr RP knackade pŒ dšrren (som hŒlls lŒst just fšr att man ska bli tvungen att knacka) rŒkade de av en hŠndelse anvŠnda DFDBs hemliga knackning, det var dŠrfšr Vidar pršvade med handskakningen. Om den besvarades blev Vidar nŠstan sŠker om att den svarande rollpersonen tillhšr nŒgon avdelning av DFDB. DFDB Šr inte sŠrskilt intresserade av magiska skatter, men desto mer av att skaffa fram pengar till vŠlgšrenhet. Vidar Renfot lŒtsas ta mutor, men inte fšr egen del utan till Bršdraskapets kassa. Med ytterst hemliga metoder ges anonyma bidrag frŒn denna kassa till Šnkor, faderlšsa och andra fattiga. Skulle Bršdraskapet fŒ mšjlighet att lŠgga beslag pŒ Mauretius skatter, kommer de att gšra det. Platsen I arkitekternas arkiv finns flera bra kartor i stor skala, och har man vŠl fŒtt klart fšr sig att det gŠller att rita en liksidig triangel frŒn hšrnen pŒ tvŒ tempel, Šr det sedan bara att lista ut Œt vilket hŒll triangeln ska ritas. Drar man den tredje spetsen ned mot havet, hamnar spetsen mitt pŒ en gata mellan tvŒ tempel. Drar man den upp mot Evighetspalatset hamnar den nŒgonstans pŒ den branta bergssidan, alldeles invid det šversta av de tempel som ligger dŠr. Det Šr den senare riktningen som Šr den rŠtta. Triangeln visar pŒ Mauretius kammare, som ligger under jorden ett tiotal meter inne i bergssidan. IngŒngen finns i en trŠdgŒrd vid ett tempel som tillhšr Ordo Lex Benefax, en religion vars anhŠngare Šr ganska fŒ men mycket hŠngivna. NŠr man fŒtt veta det Šr det inte bara att gŒ dit och grŠva. Ordo Lex Benefax OLB Šr en religion som lŠr att det finns en gudomlig ordning i vŠrlden, och att alla tŠnkande varelser Šr skyldiga att sška efter denna ordning och fšlja den. Endast den som lyckas fšlja den Gudomliga Lagen Šr rŠttfŠrdig, och vinner gudarnas gunst. Emellertid Šr den gudomliga ordningen inte tillgŠnglig fšr det normala fšrnuftet, utan meddelas frŒn gudarna endast genom deras profeter. Den Gudomliga Lagen finns nedtecknad i en tjock bok som fšrvaras inne i templet. DŠr finner man exakta fšreskrifter om allting som ršr livet: vilka klŠder man ska bŠra, vilken mat man fŒr Šta och vad man ska gšra i varje situation. Medlemmarnas liv Šr alltsŒ inrutat i varje detalj, och mŒnga av deras regler ter sig rŠtt obegripliga fšr utomstŒende. Oavsett om rollpersonerna tar kontakt med templet fšrst, eller smyger sig dit nŒgon kvŠll och bšrjar grŠva, kommer de att trŠffa den skriftlŠrde Aaraln (LŠrd man, sid 23 i grundreglerna). Denne har inte sjŠlv nŒgot intresse av underjordiska skatter; han Šgnar all sin tid Œt att studera den Gudomliga Lagen. Han har heller inget emot att RP mot en mindre gŒva till templet fŒr grŠva ett hŒl i ett hšrn av trŠdgŒrden. Men han krŠver att rollpersonerna ska fšlja alla fšreskrifter i Lagen sŒ lŠnge de Šr pŒ templets omrŒde, och han posterar ut tvŒ tempeltjŠnare som švervakar att ingen syndar. Bland bestŠmmelserna i Ordo Lex Benefax gudomliga lag finns t.ex. fšljande: 1.Tulpaner Šr heliga och fŒr inte plockas eller trampas pŒ. (TrŠdgŒrden Šr full av dem...) 2.Man mŒste tvŠtta hŠnderna innan man gšr nŒgonting nytt. Bšrjar man t.ex. grŠva efter att ha tittat pŒ en karta, krŠvs en handtvagning. Ska man titta pŒ kartan igen mŒste man fšrst tvŠtta hŠnderna, osv. (Templets fšrrŒd av handdukar Šr imponerande och tvŠttstugan Šr gigantisk!) 3.Alla klŠder mŒste vara av ull eller lŠder frŒn svin eller nšt, och alla huvudbonader Šr fšrbjudna. (PlŒtrustningar eller ringbrynjor fŒr dŠrfšr inte bŠras, fšrstŒs.) Mot en mindre avgift fŒr RP hyra lŠmpliga klŠder frŒn templet. 4.All kontakt med fšremŒl tillverkade av hŠsthud eller tagel Šr strŠngt fšrbjuden; hŠsten Šr ett heligt djur. LŠderfšremŒl inspekteras noga fšr att kolla att inget lŠder kommer frŒn hŠst.
Steam Escaping!

from @ 2/11/2002 10:17:19 AM

I am a corpse for another day
all of it has gone away
along with cares
that no longer matter
bury me beside seven stolen roofing ladders
if for some reason I do not return
in hell my remains will burn
and all the love for me you never felt
will be once again shuffled and then redelt
although my shoes stink like cheese
to you that is all I have to leave
this is my will
the way I want it to be
so be sure to read this
should something ever happen to be
yes these are my wishes
my last plea
before the family begins to fight over me
I have no silver
I have no gold
but to you,I'll leave all the lies I've told
and don't forget the broken dreams I sold
look down at the pawn shop
its really quite near
I bet you wish now I would have just bought you a beer.
Steam Escaping!

from @ 2/9/2002 01:58:21 AM

My words trailed off… You made a dive for my crotch I wrapped my fingers in your hair and pulled your head up. I kissed your and you bit my lip hard. I pulled the over-size tank top you was wearing as a dress over your head, reached back and grabbed the handcuffs and cuffed your to the steering wheel. I pulled the seat as far back on the track as it would go and reclined the back of the seat. I unlaced your black Docs, took them off and threw them in the back of the van. Then came your socks, leggings and underwear.

I noticed you had tattoos on both legs. Those had not been there before. A raven, and a dolphin. How curious.
I pulled my shirt off. I had a bottle of chocolate syrup in my bag and drizzled it down your chest, around your nipples, in your navel and coated your sex. I licked the chocolate off your breasts, biting your nipples until they nearly bled. When I reached your navel, you began to giggle again. When I started to lick your sex, you moaned and the moans grew louder. I teased your clit with gentle nips and licked you clean. Then I flicked my tongue around the entrance to your vagina, just barely in. I returned my attention to your clit, sucking and biting. you tasted, not surprisingly, of chocolate.

I brought your just to the edge, then stopped. you kicked, furious. I gave your a predatory grin, then
removed my pants. you whimpered softly. I could feel your dampness throbbing against the pulsing head of my cock. you arched your back and begged as I slammed into you. The air grew charged and crimson between us. You screamed as I pounded you, delivering one orgasm after another.

The chain between the cuffs snapped, freeing your arms and leaving your with cuff bracelets. you reached
up with your left arm and grabbed a fistful of my hair, forcing my head down. you took me in a brutal kiss, biting until the blood ran down my chin. you came again, then I finally had my release.

You stuck your finger in the blood from my lip, put it in your mouth and sucked. The light dimmed and
disappeared. You crawled over to the passenger seat. you got up and went to the back of the van, returning with two stadium blankets. you handed one to me, then wrapped the other around yourself and dozed off. I looked over at you thoughtfully, shook my head, started the engine and drove off.
Steam Escaping!

from @ 2/7/2002 03:21:07 PM

Forlorn bones and shattered skulls
Armor rent; shields split...
Lances snapped and spears bent;
Blood for the Cross of the Martyr.

The golden moon on a sapphire backdrop,

The earth-mother's love, the word adoration of Yaweh,
Buddas plump familiar smile,
Shiva's allurnig dance.
All these must be crushed
Under the weight
Under the Truth
Of the Cross of the Martyr.

A quiet man sits alone in the desert,

Weary of preaching, tired of teaching.
Another man approaches, hoping to show
the follies of things yet to be
the hopes of reality ant the world.
"Tempter!" cries the quiet one "Let me be!."
The tempter only wants to save
the blood
of the Children of the Martyr.

Now is the time of sackcloth suns

Of boiling seas
Of rivers of blood;
Now is the time when the sinners repent
Or do they?
Where is the righteous savior
who once cried "Tempter!"?

He sits with the white sheeted dragon;

He cavorts with the black-on-red spider;
The petty despots and slease of the world
Are once gain His table-fellows.
The Martyr of the Cross, returned,
Finds himself, again feasting with the
This time there is no message
This time he has no crowds to preach to
They have already heard him,
And are as guilty as he is.

Oh sweet Jesus

what have you done?
You are human;
and by that sin, are undone.
Steam Escaping!

from @ 2/6/2002 01:43:15 PM

Ken doll Ken doll whatcha want
Whatcha gonna do when Malibu Sun Barbie
Come for you tell me whatcha gonna do ooh
Ken doll Ken doll whatcha gonna do
Whatcha gonna do when you can't make spoo
When you were made
And you had no traits
You go to Malibu you learn you're a putz
So why are you acting like a bloody fool
If you got no schlong or a pair of nuts
You chuck it on this one
You chuck it on that one
You chuck it on your mother and'
You chuck it on your father
You chuck it on your brother
And you chuck it on your sister
You chuck it on that one
And you chuck it on me
Nobody naw gives you no schween
Police naw give you no schween
Soldier naw give you no schween
Not even you idren naw give you no schween
Why did you have to act so mean don't you know
You're a human being born without a groin
The love of a father
Barbies come and Barbies go
But you got no nuts so you can't let go(x2)
Steam Escaping!

from @ 2/6/2002 12:15:27 AM

A long night of silence, broken only by a missed phonecall... dishes done, bone-weary and contemplative.

The Dragon Slayer’s Quest

Once upon a time there was a fearsome dragon that lived in a cave and came out only to burn down all the local villages and eat people. Despite the numerous petitions the local residents had filed to their local government, absolutely nothing was done about the dragon. People had tried to reason with the dragon by going up to its cave in scared little huddles and shouting at it. All this achieved was getting burnt. One day a knight in shining armor rode into one of the local villages after a particularly vicious attack by the dragon. He rode sedately through the wreckage of the many wooden buildings with a worried look upon his noble features. He noted the dejected old folk sweeping away the charred remains of their homes, searching in vain for possessions that were still intact or failing that, survivors. (They'd learnt long ago that it was easier to get new people than to save up for another video or CD player.) The noble knight regarded all this with a solemn expression; many were the times when he'd witnessed similar tragedies and too damn often were the times when he'd been asked, as a shiny knight, to slay the beastly demonic creature and so on. Although he had a proper sword, suit of armor, lance and shield he was, when you got right down to it, a cowardly bastard. He was often thankful for his armor, not only because it had asbestos lining that prevented him from getting too badly burnt but also because the crotch wouldn't
stain when he got really frightened.

The knight was breathing a sigh of relief as he reached the far side of the village without being called upon to
execute a deed of utmost valor when an old man sitting reflectively on a pile of charred bones whistled at him. The knight tried to pretend he hadn't heard, but was betrayed by his horse who looked over its shoulder then trotted over to the man, who was holding out a carrot. The knight groaned inwardly as he dismounted and tied the horse to the remains of a tree. He had the feeling that the old man was going to be one of those philosophical sagelike people who would come out with a bucketfull of existential twaddle that would somehow convince him of the worthiness and necessity of riding halfway up a steaming hot smoky mountain before being attacked by a monster the size of three houses lumped together with breath hotter than an oxy-acetylene torch. In his spare time the knight was perfecting a formula for a type of flameproof varnish in order to save money on horses, which normally managed to buck the knight off and run away but sometimes got burnt out from underneath him. Unfortunately, his last batch was still untested, and he preferred testing on little dragons rather then beastly behemoths.

The old man waved the knight to sit down but the knight politely declined, preferring to sit on something
that looked slightly less like a ribcage, no matter how well-sprung and comfortable it seemed. He groaned as the old man lit up a pipe and narrowed his eyes as the smoke slowly seeped from his nostrils. They were even worse if they smoked a pipe. It gave them something to hold in one hand and point emphatically with, the pointing usually being accompanied by words to the effect of "you ought to be damn ashamed of yourself!

“There's many a young man would be dyin' for a chance to fight an evil dragon! Think of the prestige!..." He
eventually opted to squat uncomfortably on a sharp lump of charcoal that creaked for a few seconds before collapsing into dust. He sat on the bare earth instead.

"I bet you're thinkin' I'm goin' to be a-tellin' you to go an' kill the dragon with that most shiny sword you 'ave
at your side," said the old man smugly as he puffed. "Well, I don't disagree with the idea of there being in mighty battle in which the dragon is heroically slain, but I do 'appen to know that there are better ways of gettin' around this little problem." He raised his eyebrow a fraction and jigged back and forth a little on his bones. The knight looked down his noble nose at the man and replied scornfully:

Oh, I’m sure old man. You speak as if the dragon could simply be switched off…!" The knight finished with a
superior form of laugh and flicked a speck of dust off the knee of his metal trousers.

"Now how’d y’know me secret before I told yas?" The old man dropped his pipe in consternation and glowered
at the young upstart as he tried to maintain his expression of cool knowledge. The Knight tried not lapse into a daze of stupefied glee at the thought of enjoying all the benefits of being a successful dragon-slayer (free feasts, countless goblets of disgusting but reassuringly expensive wine, scores of wenches, free passage through various kingdoms and suchlike) without having to risk getting killed or eaten. He magnanimously picked up the old man's pipe for him and asked if he happened to know how you turned the dragon off.

The old man said you pressed the off button.

The knight thanked him for his time and was standing up to go when he realized he'd forgotten something.

"I'm terribly sorry," he said, sitting again "but where exactly might one actually find the off button?" He

raised an eyebrow.

The old man's wrinkled face split into a cheeky grin.

"It's in the dragon, sort of just to the right of the sternum as you look at it. Just sort of behind the 'art, in fact.

You has to push your sword deep into the dragon, push it through the 'art an' it'll 'it the button and the dragon'll stop working!" He lit his pipe again and shifted position comfortably on the bones.

"So kind. Good day!" The knight (being quite thick) said happily as he sprung up (as fast as possible with
armor on, anyway) and grabbed the horse's reins. Rather fittingly, thunder battered its way throughout the valley and lightning momentarily lit up the (k)night as he rode off towards the mountain that he had assumed to contain the dragon's lair.

Luckily, it did live there, although it was currently not actually present in its cave as it was still pottering
around the countryside burning various things. On its way back home it spotted the knight as he dragged his exhausted horse up one of the steeper slopes and decided that it might be better in the long run if it were to circumspectly burn him now. So it did. But it didn't as I'd forgotten that the knight supposed to be wearing asbestos armor. So it ate him instead, which it quite regretted as it ended up with stomach cancer and due to said asbestos. And it died.
Steam Escaping!

from @ 2/5/2002 01:11:14 PM

Its funny how we don't see the chains until its too late... I just poured my heart into a crucible of binary for almost a straight twenty minutes (two AC/DC, One Metallica, and half a techno song later) and because I hadn't learned all the tricks yet, my words are toast... pen and paper sucks, but at least there is something salvageable. This leaves no buffer, no cache, no control-z, no way to recover the tattered remnants of yesteryear. When the Howard Carters of the next age pull forth our rank technoerotic remains up into the sunny air for the first time in forever, and the dry ar and blowing sands force him to rub his eyes, and transfer the microbe maggots of another time to a system which will be eaten alive; inside out, in less than a month... when that man comes forth, I hope he knows binary, for that is what all the remants of our age will be in... Someone had better keep around old CD players, floppy disks, tape drives, and other technologica around...because someday, in the tomorrow times, someone may need to know something. And there is no rosetta stone which will allow you to get the bits off the tape, and into someone's mind.
Steam Escaping!

from @ 2/5/2002 01:02:06 PM

19 days to 2/24
a rarity-
only happens once in people's lives
to be the same age as thier birthday
a rarity-
to think that nearly a quarter century has passed
and neither quarter
nor century _mean_ anything
if 24 is a defining part of who you are
(as the great white father
and the paper mountains majesty
which make his seas to shining seas
glimmer like the gold of
Sacagawea would say;
"Age, sex, SS#")

What is the big deal?

Sometimes the small picture
seems so much larger
other times
you can't see the aurora
for the eclipse...
Steam Escaping!

from @ 2/5/2002 10:45:14 AM

So where do I start?
The beginning seems a natural place, yet, at the same time, it creates so many holes in the fabric of time/ space. There are no beginnings, only points in time...what was will be again, what is yet to come is yesterday in another ago...

Technology is a tool for those who know how to use it... it is a chain; useful, helpful... stronger than rope,
more durable than the worn out bands of braidedleather the old ones who walked this land (and loved its forests and trees; revered the spirits and old places, kept the balance of things) used to lash otogether the stipped birch poles of thier travios as they set out accross the great plains. Following the herds... the herds which would be dead before grandfather's last tooth falls out...the days before the Great White Father, but after the Black Arrow slaughter... and the Yellow fever.

Technology is a tool... a chain... and it binds us as much as it helps us...

Back to beginnings, they bind us to... for, to say that you can create a start, a point "a" within the infinite

swirling of time which will have an ultimate destination "b" and a straight line between those two points; you are ignoring the swirling and branching properties of time and space. People think of lines when they think of space.... A Wrinkle in Time is alikened to an ant walking across a folding string between two collosal hands... What about above the ant, or below it? Or within it?

Energy and matter are the only constants; they exist in such multifasceted patterns and shifting states f
being that our ability to comprehend anything would be shattered into millions of tiny shards were we to glimpse a mere step in the great dance of the multiverse. To be able to exert a bit of control over the flux of matter into energy... that is true power. The herds move on, the old men die, our copper-skinned brothers knew these serets, and they learned them from thier father's fathers. The secrets have been there since before man was man. They will be there again when man is dinosaur, and when man is man again... fighting over the condensed liquified bones of thier ancestor dinosaurs to power thier imbalanced motors... thier mechanical answer to that great power which comes in the form of magic.

There are no ends or beginnings, only the now.

Magic is making the now what you want it to be.
Steam Escaping!


That took longer than I thought it would. I guess I did have a bit stashed on that blog, despite the fact that they lost so much content on me. Farewell for now, I've moved on to better things.
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