February 25th, 2005

Steam Escaping!

The continued adventures of Frank and Eddie (with apologies to murnkay )


"What man, you need a light?"

"No I was just wondering..."

"Jesus man, can't we ever do a job, just once, without you getting all cerebral on me?"

"Cerebral? What the hell does that mean? That some sorta French word or something? Sounds like a cheese eating surrender monkey insult."

"Cerebral means brainy, ya twat."

"Oh, yeah, this is one of those questions."

"Sweet shit. Hand me those pliers while you are over there."

"O.K. Here."

"Not those, the other ones."

"Oh, here. Back to what I was just wondering, when is the precise moment of death?"

"Ugh, goddamn metric screwheads. Wait, WHAT?"

"When does life end? Is life, existance, a byproduct of the body's functions, or is there an element of it just beyond physical reality? Is life tied to our bodies, but can occur with or without them?"

"Hold this. No,not there, THERE. O.K. So basically, you are asking me about souls Eddie?"

"No, not that church shit. I just want to know when we die."

"Usually, that happens right after the heart stops doin it's thing. Aw FUCK, this is a new shirt."

"Here man, take my snotrag. It's clean."


"But what about brain death?"

"What about it?"

"After the heart stops beating, the brain continues to show signs of electromagnetic activity for as long as two months."

"Man, I swear you ask this stuff to jerk me off. You see this? You know why we are taking apart?"

"Cuz it is jammed up?"

"Rigt you are. Give the man a cigar.

"Hey man, fuck off. What does this have to do with my question? "

"I'm getting to it! The chainsaw is clogged because when you use it to cut through a skull, if you don't have enough RPMs, the scalp gets snagged, tears off, gets sucked down the chain, and clogs the intake up."

"Ugh, that's scalp? I woulda thought leg. "

"Yeah, here's your hankie back."

"Keep it."

"Whatever. Look, my point is, there was no electromagnetic anything going on with this dillweed after we cracked his cranium like a casaba."

"Right, because you destroyed the brain. You killed him."

"Eddie, traditionally, would you say that I killed someone when I stuck an icepick through their ribs twenty seven times, or when I cut up thier body after it was in a meat locker for three days?"

"Yeah. Shit man, I never thought about it that way."

"Damn straight bud. Go get the mop. I'm outta smokes. We'll toss the chainsaw in with the rest, it is a lost cause."

"Aw crap. So you get to buy smokes and I gotta mop? How does that work?"

"Cuz you ask the stupid questions Eddie. Need anything?"

"Nah man, I'm good. Word of advice? Lose the tie. Looks like you sat down too fast in front of a plate of spagetthi."

"Mother FUCK! Between Home Depot and Barneys, it is a motherfucking wonder we have enough left to pay the rent at the end of the day."

"Yeah, it's rough business, death."
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Steam Escaping!

new community

if you were at all entertained by the little conversational snippet posted earlier today, join frankandeddie. sporadic to start, but i want to eventually get into a m/w/f update cycle.
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