June 6th, 2005

Steam Escaping!

Ice Dragon

Four of them ventured down the sloping shore,
Lured by meltpools blue as cloudless skies:
Swelling buds of ash and curly willow
Scented the air like clover. One by one
They probed the ice and boldly dreamed aloud

Of golden mornings promising sunwarmed docks,
Of heavy carp with scales like minted coins:
The youngest bent to dip the pail that he'd brought
Into the lake, imagining a minnow.

The Dragon who dwells in every frozen lake
Heard the ice crack, made a cunning lunge
And dragged the boy down, failing, choking, blind,
Into the depths where dreams and Summers end.

The Garrison Captain and his diving-team
Searched all afternoon and all next morning
But could not find the boy, recovering
Only the pail, upended, emptying Dreams.
  • Current Music
    VNV Nation - After Fire
Steam Escaping!


so the moving company who said that they could hook me up the weekend i want to move called me at 4pm saturday at work. they left me a vm asking to have me call back to confirm, which i had already done. i just called them back, and they told me that they had already given up the slot i wanted, since i didn’t get back to them. i asked them why they called me at work instead of home, and they said that they called both. that is some bullshit.

so, folks who have used movers recently, hit me with some 411 - my connection just totally dropped the ball, so now i need to hustle to get something else to span the gap.

i really fucking hate moving.
  • Current Music
    monday morning women office gossip
Steam Escaping!


This is a seriously cool idea. If I had seen this site before I went on vacation, I totally woulda done it.

Next time Gadget!
  • Current Mood
    awake awake
Steam Escaping!

Today is the Anniversary of The Longest Day

Sixty one years ago, over 150,000 men took Normandy. .43% of them died before the day was done.

My grandfather was the same age I am now. He was stationed in the Pacific at the time.

My grandmother was 21. She was a nurse in Anzio, which saw more death than any other concentrated front in WW2.

How can anything I accomplish in this world stand tall in the shadow of those people, who, so young, had faced so much death and hardship for ideals they truly believed in?

There isin’t a government around I’d lay my life down for, short of the fight coming to my back door. I’d defend my home and country then, but only because the latter was in the former. My personal ideologies fall far afield of anything I’ve heard any politics espouse.

Who knows, perhaps if it were a different time, I would be another person? My cynicism seems fairly straightforward - I wonder if it would be as strong in an age where you didn’t have access to the data to arise suspicions and confirm doubts.

In my view, we have spent the last 200+change years in a downward and outward spiral of the ideals behind the document our government is supported by. At the same time, we have increased in prosperity, quality of life, global power, and corruption. The ratio’s rates are not constant, but the climb of one and the decline of another seem so self-evident.

Ideals are so contextual. Politics are extrapolations of ideals meant to cement a group of disparate people together into one body, to accomplish something greater than the individuals could accomplish themselves. I am a person who feels they cannot accurately judge the nature of the people around them. How can I subscribe to ANY larger political ideology?

I don’t know where all this is going. I spent a good amount of time today thinking about happiness. What makes a person happy? What sustains it? What is it in human nature that gets jealous or frustrated at other peoples’ happiness? I personally don’t begrudge anyone something that makes them happy, no matter how weird it may seem to me. I do, on occasion, throw in my two cents when asked for a direct opinion or advice, but I always spend as much time, if not more, trying to see an issue from all angles. It is hard to begrudge someone happiness for me, even if their angle on it seems inane to me, or, if it irks me in some way.

Why does it most people though? I mean, I personally subscribe to the Dennis Leary School of happiness (I’m actually born again, I gave it up to try something with seemestarfish, and that didn’t work so good). I find it hard to believe that someone could be happy always, in all ways. Yet, my belief does not stop these people from existing. One good observation was that it stems to the competitive aspect of our biological roots. Happiness is having all your needs filled and then some. If someone has that, then, ultimately, you want it too - despite the fact that you might have completely different needs.

We are weird little monkies dammit. We’ll die for ideas, and hate because of happiness. We’ll sacrifice plans for whims, and discount instincts to logic. We build walls around ourselves to hide our emotions from others, when the whole point of emotions in the first place is to allow communal bonds to form,and deeper senses of understanding. We will belittle those who are too aloof in the same way we ridicule those who are too open. Who determines the zeitgeist of “appropriate”?

I’m not sure where the road between strengths and weaknesses in this melange lies, if there even is a road.
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