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malaise

monday, i managed to continue extending my good zone from the weekend.
yesterday morning, from very early on in the day, i had a stab-in-the-gut that left my spirits fairly shambled.
yesterday afternoon, i started feeling sick.
last night, i tried to write, to no avail. wasted some time and went to bed drugged, and very early.

my dreams of late have had lots to do with apocalypses involving exploding planes. planes that had nukes on them. all sorts of weird shit.

today i had a repeat gutstab. i am fighting it. i need to not get sick. i have so much to do between now and that oasis of time away from what has become my life lately. i have begun to wonder if my physical health might not be very intricately tied to my emotional health. i got two more rejection letters yesterday.

one of the folks at work offered me a sublet today. it is a weird thing, because i don't even her them that well. i'd hate to leave mightywombat in the dust, though it would be muy cheap, and closer to work. i'll have to talk to him, if i bother to see the place, and it is something doable.

i feel like i am trying to grab control of my life wearing fireplace gloves. if you have ever had a fireplace or a wood burning stove, they make these thick leather padded gloves to prevent you from burning the shit out of yourself. the entire purpose of the gloves is to allow you to grip without feeling. sometimes though, because you can't feel very well, your grip sucks. other times, your grip is too good, and you get fingers sandwiched between burning logs.

i'm gonna go hunt some more drugs.

Comments

( 37 comments — Leave a comment )
mightywombat
Mar. 2nd, 2005 06:44 pm (UTC)
Well, hm. That would really pretty much leave me in the lurch, though I suspect that I'd be able to find another place somewhere for maybe almost about as much as I'm paying now. Maybe. My policy has always been "you (being whoever) do what's good for you" and I'll find a way to survive, come what may.
delascabezas
Mar. 2nd, 2005 09:17 pm (UTC)
well
i may entertain the nicety, but i'm not ditching anytime in the next week. i don't know how much i want to move, all things being equal. it is just a hard offer to say no to at the end of the day (10 blocks from work, and like 200$ less than what i am paying, even with your split).
delascabezas
Mar. 2nd, 2005 09:19 pm (UTC)
on the fair side lol
this place is prolly a hole in the wall, which is why it is so cheap. i'm just msuing at this point. anything serious, i would of course face-to-face with you.
Re: on the fair side lol - mightywombat - Mar. 2nd, 2005 09:42 pm (UTC) - Expand
gefiltebitch
Mar. 2nd, 2005 06:51 pm (UTC)
take care of you.
delascabezas
Mar. 2nd, 2005 09:15 pm (UTC)
fanks
workin on it.
how are the exammyjams goin?
i get to meet you soon!
Re: fanks - gefiltebitch - Mar. 2nd, 2005 09:17 pm (UTC) - Expand
(Deleted comment)
delascabezas
Mar. 2nd, 2005 09:14 pm (UTC)
not for me
i got a gig after work, then i needa go home and sleep so i don't get any sicker. i'm holding it at a standstill at the moment.
thrownoverbored
Mar. 2nd, 2005 07:13 pm (UTC)
yo, i left my phone at home so i couldn't call you. talked to pam and then ran out the door to work.

your emotional health IS absolutely related to physical health. so try your best to keep your spirits up, though drugs and vitamin C is always a good thing. let me do a reiki session on you. it might help.

wangch61
Mar. 2nd, 2005 07:26 pm (UTC)
whats "reiki"? some sort of pino voodoo?
(no subject) - hoolifan - Mar. 2nd, 2005 08:09 pm (UTC) - Expand
it is a sprirtual massage thing - delascabezas - Mar. 2nd, 2005 08:30 pm (UTC) - Expand
delascabezas
Mar. 2nd, 2005 09:15 pm (UTC)
thanks for the offer
's coo about the phones. was looking forward to working with you - now i'm back at the drawing board =)

ah well.
wangch61
Mar. 2nd, 2005 07:40 pm (UTC)
you need to chill.....drugs are bad..mmmm kay.
delascabezas
Mar. 2nd, 2005 08:33 pm (UTC)
ugh
yeah, i do need to chill, but i don't exactly have ample opportunities here.
online_stalker
Mar. 2nd, 2005 07:55 pm (UTC)
dude, why are you always so morose? trust me, i know that life sucks, but there is a lot to be said for the "power of positive thinking."

now stare at my icon and let my ass sparkling hypnotize you into happiness.
hoolifan
Mar. 2nd, 2005 08:08 pm (UTC)
No offense, but you're not exactly a bubbly fountain of positivity yourself.

I'm hoping you were being sarcastic.
(no subject) - online_stalker - Mar. 2nd, 2005 08:31 pm (UTC) - Expand
wow - delascabezas - Mar. 2nd, 2005 09:20 pm (UTC) - Expand
ha - delascabezas - Mar. 2nd, 2005 08:37 pm (UTC) - Expand
yeah - delascabezas - Mar. 2nd, 2005 08:41 pm (UTC) - Expand
jesus man - delascabezas - Mar. 2nd, 2005 08:46 pm (UTC) - Expand
Re: jesus man - wangch61 - Mar. 2nd, 2005 08:58 pm (UTC) - Expand
Re: jesus man - online_stalker - Mar. 2nd, 2005 09:00 pm (UTC) - Expand
umm - delascabezas - Mar. 2nd, 2005 09:04 pm (UTC) - Expand
heh - delascabezas - Mar. 2nd, 2005 09:02 pm (UTC) - Expand
delascabezas
Mar. 2nd, 2005 08:31 pm (UTC)
heh
i get a lot of shit out here so it doesn't choke me in real life.
i've always been a bipolar person - i'm high as a kite when things are good, and low as the rut when things are bad - i have a tough time oscilating between the two. i am trying though. i'm not _always_ morose =)

thanks for the cheerful hypnotism.
Re: heh - wangch61 - Mar. 2nd, 2005 09:04 pm (UTC) - Expand
meh- for better or worse - delascabezas - Mar. 2nd, 2005 09:13 pm (UTC) - Expand
Re: heh - wangch61 - Mar. 2nd, 2005 09:05 pm (UTC) - Expand
LMAO - delascabezas - Mar. 2nd, 2005 09:12 pm (UTC) - Expand
( 37 comments — Leave a comment )

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delascabezas
The Son of the last of a long line of thinkers.
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