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monday, i managed to continue extending my good zone from the weekend.
yesterday morning, from very early on in the day, i had a stab-in-the-gut that left my spirits fairly shambled.
yesterday afternoon, i started feeling sick.
last night, i tried to write, to no avail. wasted some time and went to bed drugged, and very early.

my dreams of late have had lots to do with apocalypses involving exploding planes. planes that had nukes on them. all sorts of weird shit.

today i had a repeat gutstab. i am fighting it. i need to not get sick. i have so much to do between now and that oasis of time away from what has become my life lately. i have begun to wonder if my physical health might not be very intricately tied to my emotional health. i got two more rejection letters yesterday.

one of the folks at work offered me a sublet today. it is a weird thing, because i don't even her them that well. i'd hate to leave mightywombat in the dust, though it would be muy cheap, and closer to work. i'll have to talk to him, if i bother to see the place, and it is something doable.

i feel like i am trying to grab control of my life wearing fireplace gloves. if you have ever had a fireplace or a wood burning stove, they make these thick leather padded gloves to prevent you from burning the shit out of yourself. the entire purpose of the gloves is to allow you to grip without feeling. sometimes though, because you can't feel very well, your grip sucks. other times, your grip is too good, and you get fingers sandwiched between burning logs.

i'm gonna go hunt some more drugs.


Mar. 2nd, 2005 07:13 pm (UTC)
yo, i left my phone at home so i couldn't call you. talked to pam and then ran out the door to work.

your emotional health IS absolutely related to physical health. so try your best to keep your spirits up, though drugs and vitamin C is always a good thing. let me do a reiki session on you. it might help.

Mar. 2nd, 2005 07:26 pm (UTC)
whats "reiki"? some sort of pino voodoo?
Mar. 2nd, 2005 08:09 pm (UTC)
Pretty much.
Mar. 2nd, 2005 08:30 pm (UTC)
it is a sprirtual massage thing
i did a website for a guy who was a reiki practitioner. he actually teaches it out in LI. i tried it with an open mind, but i can't say the results matched the practice.
Mar. 2nd, 2005 09:15 pm (UTC)
thanks for the offer
's coo about the phones. was looking forward to working with you - now i'm back at the drawing board =)

ah well.


Steam Escaping!
The Son of the last of a long line of thinkers.

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