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malaise

monday, i managed to continue extending my good zone from the weekend.
yesterday morning, from very early on in the day, i had a stab-in-the-gut that left my spirits fairly shambled.
yesterday afternoon, i started feeling sick.
last night, i tried to write, to no avail. wasted some time and went to bed drugged, and very early.

my dreams of late have had lots to do with apocalypses involving exploding planes. planes that had nukes on them. all sorts of weird shit.

today i had a repeat gutstab. i am fighting it. i need to not get sick. i have so much to do between now and that oasis of time away from what has become my life lately. i have begun to wonder if my physical health might not be very intricately tied to my emotional health. i got two more rejection letters yesterday.

one of the folks at work offered me a sublet today. it is a weird thing, because i don't even her them that well. i'd hate to leave mightywombat in the dust, though it would be muy cheap, and closer to work. i'll have to talk to him, if i bother to see the place, and it is something doable.

i feel like i am trying to grab control of my life wearing fireplace gloves. if you have ever had a fireplace or a wood burning stove, they make these thick leather padded gloves to prevent you from burning the shit out of yourself. the entire purpose of the gloves is to allow you to grip without feeling. sometimes though, because you can't feel very well, your grip sucks. other times, your grip is too good, and you get fingers sandwiched between burning logs.

i'm gonna go hunt some more drugs.

Comments

delascabezas
Mar. 2nd, 2005 09:19 pm (UTC)
on the fair side lol
this place is prolly a hole in the wall, which is why it is so cheap. i'm just msuing at this point. anything serious, i would of course face-to-face with you.
mightywombat
Mar. 2nd, 2005 09:42 pm (UTC)
Re: on the fair side lol
Oh, of course. I know you're not going to come home and tell me that you're moving this month and the new tenants are moving in first of next month. I 'm sure I'll get some advance warning, I juts wanted to let you know I'd seen your post.

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Steam Escaping!
delascabezas
The Son of the last of a long line of thinkers.
delascabezas.com

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