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so i left mrshellion's place around 1:20 in the a.m. I walk to the PATH no problemo. get there, and i am the only one on the platform. wait about 5 minutes, mp3 player going. two persons approach me from down the stairs. they come right up to me, and appear to be asking me something. one is about two/three inches shorter, black, with dreadlocks. the other is probably 6 inches shorter, hispanic. i assume they are asking directions. i slip one earphone off my ear to answer. i get:

"yo white bread, lemme see your wallet"

"excuse me?"

"my buddy and i wanna see your wallet"

"how about no?"

"yo, i don't think you heard me straight. if you don't want trouble, my boy and i wanna see your fuckin wallet."

at this point, i am trying to determine if either of them has a weapon. if not, i probably weigh close to what both of them combined do. if they have a weapon, i can get really fucking dead fast. before i can put my hand to my knife, dreadlocks puts his hand on my suit, and makes a grab for my pants pocket. i went into the train using the metrocard in my bag, so he assumed i kept my wallet in my pants i guess, if they were smart enough to fucking tail me.

i grab dreadlocks by the hair with my left hand, and suck the air out of him with my right fist via his gut. i am either getting shot or walking away clean. he folds like a lawn chair. while he is gasping like a waterless carp, jerking in my fist as such, his hispanic buddy starts backing off.

"yo, we don't want no trouble."

"step the fuck off before i call some cops."

"no fucking need ese, we are gone."

as soon as he says this, dreadlocks, who i still have a hand on by the hair, catches his breath. he pops me one in the nose, and when i am seeing white stars, starts hammering me on the right side of the head. i end up half crouched over. i remember seeing my bag by my feet as it slipped off my shoulder. luckily, my grip on his greasy locks did not let go. i slam his head into my knee. he re-folds, and the only thing keeping his face off the pavement is a fistful of his hair. hispanic boy, the wondrous mugging sidekick, has yet to move.

i drop dredsy on his face.

"get the fuck outta here man, before i fucking call some cops."

"yo word, there must have been a misunderstanding."

"fucking get lost asshole!"

he grabs dredsy and runs. it is at this point that i realize that i am bleeding from the nose. i am seeing red, yet i manage to get my handkerchief out of my pocket, instead of my knife. i ruined my white shirt in the process.

i sit the ride all the way to fucking wtc, applying direct pressure to my geyser nostril. my head feels like a brazilian conga band.

i get out, and hop a cab. wangch61's house is the nearest safe haven i know. i must have looked a fright when i showed up. i spent about 10 minutes in the bathroom cleaning myself up, and getting the bleeding to stop.

i'm not overly fucked up. i didn't get my nose broken- the pop, it just loosened a blood vessel.

i spent the rest of the eve with either ice or a cold drink on my pate. the lump is maybe 1/4 inch from the crack in my skull from my long ago fight in woodlawn. why couldn't i have gotten a matching lump? motherfucker had to wail on me on the weak side of my skull.

i am scared to sleep until at least 8. 6 hours after a concussion is 1/4 chances of not waking up. 8 hours is 1/10. 12 hours is supposedly aok. i don't know, after the week i've had, if i can make it to 2pm.

water and ice are my friends right now. advil is on the way to my gut. hopefully, the sunrise will give me some piece of mind.

my hands were shaking until at least 4.

i fucking hate the state of the dammned.

happy motherfucking satruday all.


( 36 comments — Leave a comment )
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Jun. 18th, 2005 11:54 am (UTC)
Aw shit man. I'm a blend of sad/mad/happy for you for all of the predictable reasons. Attempted muggings suck and I hate the way the adrenaline rush make s you shake.

Hope you can sleep soon.
Jun. 18th, 2005 02:26 pm (UTC)
tired more than hurt now. thanks for the well wishes. i finally crashed out around 8ish. i woke up =)
Jun. 18th, 2005 12:39 pm (UTC)

Sounds like you kept good presence of mind throughout. I'm happy to hear you came through this in one piece.
Jun. 18th, 2005 02:28 pm (UTC)
it is funny, talking to someone else, they asked
"did it occur to you to just give them your wallet?"
it really didn't - these kids were smaller and younger, and everything happened so fast, when fight or flight kicked in, it was fight, not flight.
Jun. 18th, 2005 01:21 pm (UTC)
Damn, babe.

I'll call before we leave, make sure you're still up for luncha.
Jun. 18th, 2005 02:28 pm (UTC)
i'm fine - lets meet noonish? is that possible? i will call.
Jun. 18th, 2005 02:14 pm (UTC)
Who the fuck in their right mind would try to mug YOU? mutha fucka andre the giant with a ponytail? Jesus. Glad you were able to get out of it w/ wallet and no major injuries. Glad you didn't have to kill one of them too.
Jun. 18th, 2005 02:32 pm (UTC)
given how this whole thing went down, this defintiely seems like a fucking ametour attempt. also, it was late, i was alone, and giant w/ ponyail or not, i think they were both expecting the fucking white guy in a business suit to give up his wallet before starting a tussle. if they tailed me for any appreciable amount of time, they prolly knew i was a little inebriated too.

i'm counting my stars today. minor flesh damage to the nose, and a fuckin achey head. i nailed my pinky knuckle on the button of dredsy's shirt, and amusingly enough, aside from my head, that hurts the worse.

fuzzy head. i am always so paranoid about concussions. this kid was definitely fuckin stupid though. of all the places to punch someone, that is not the best. though, i guess he was kinda at an awkward angle.

i am just fucking so glad neither of them had any kinda weapon, or my goddamn irish blood woulda prolly gotten a hole poked in me, or worse =/
Jun. 18th, 2005 02:47 pm (UTC)

I am glad you're OK. wow......
Jun. 20th, 2005 01:11 pm (UTC)
thanks for the well wishin
stupid punkass morons
Jun. 18th, 2005 02:50 pm (UTC)

Jun. 20th, 2005 01:11 pm (UTC)
i just wish i had mooshed his face
Jun. 18th, 2005 03:53 pm (UTC)
d00d- that completely sucks! shit, hope your doing better now, and I hope dreadlocks is hurting like a MOFO who met the wrong side of a mack truck
Jun. 20th, 2005 01:12 pm (UTC)
wrong side of a mack truck - i like that one. i'm cool, and i hope they got shanked for failing gang initiation or whatever nonsense was going on.
Jun. 18th, 2005 04:12 pm (UTC)
an some people wonder why i say FUCK NJ!!!
Jun. 18th, 2005 04:19 pm (UTC)
merow =\ very sorry it happened but glad things worked out in that better-than-could-be sort of way!
Jun. 20th, 2005 01:12 pm (UTC)
alive and well, which is what counts
Jun. 18th, 2005 05:33 pm (UTC)
Damn! I'm so sorry about that--at least you got out of it as well as you did. Yet another reason why I don't want to go to Jersey.
Jun. 20th, 2005 01:13 pm (UTC)
going to jersey, oddly, has never been a problem for me - always coming back!
Jun. 18th, 2005 08:13 pm (UTC)
Awww sweetie. You can defend my honor any time. Looks like you do a good job. Sorry about the ouchies. :(
Jun. 20th, 2005 01:13 pm (UTC)
thanks. this was dumb luck more than anything.
Jun. 18th, 2005 10:59 pm (UTC)
Oh man. Glad I read your latest post before I read this one! Hope your head is doing better. :(
Jun. 20th, 2005 01:13 pm (UTC)
i got a good lump, but other than that, i'm o.k.
Jun. 19th, 2005 03:33 am (UTC)
it's the wallet that says 'bad muthamucka' on it.

good thing you practiced sparring with me!
Jun. 20th, 2005 01:14 pm (UTC)
your l33t kung-fu skills clearly saved my ass
Jun. 19th, 2005 06:57 am (UTC)

glad you got the best of them man.

hell, we really must go out and have that drink soon, but before then, i'm leaving the country again.


head-fuckish few weeks--will fill you in ASAP.
Jun. 20th, 2005 01:14 pm (UTC)
i was going to email you again to ask - are you coming back again after this trip?
Re: ha - arght - Jun. 20th, 2005 03:05 pm (UTC) - Expand
wonderful - delascabezas - Jun. 20th, 2005 03:08 pm (UTC) - Expand
Jun. 19th, 2005 03:53 pm (UTC)
Glad you showed them.

Glad you are okay.

Fuckin' Jersey.
Jun. 20th, 2005 01:14 pm (UTC)
yeah well, it is definitely up there on my hater state list now
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( 36 comments — Leave a comment )


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