The Son of the last of a long line of thinkers. (delascabezas) wrote,
The Son of the last of a long line of thinkers.
delascabezas

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Crazy Juice™

Normally, the body runs on calories provided by the distribution and use of glycogen in the blood. Eventually, the body hits lows of sugar, and requires more glycogen (either from fat, muscle, or food) to supplement caloric expenditure. This cycle, however, creates fatigue. Fatigue's gradual accumulation in the body can only be relieved through restful sleep or methamphetamines (which have their own detrimental side effects, and really only forestall fatigue's secondary effects, rather than removing it).

When the body is confronted by a fight-or-flight situation, your adrenal system kicks into overdrive, suppressing the systems which normally take care of day-to-day processing. Higher processing systems are blocked, while raw functionality systems are enervated. Circulation increases, which results in dilation of the pupils, increased muscular effectiveness, and lack of food craving.

Crazy Juice™ is a neurobiological agent (as well as the first patented biologically occurring substance), produced from an unknown source, which creates an artificial adrenal response. In essence, your brain and body continue working long past the limits of normal biological functionality. You _should_ have been asleep, you _should_ have been starving, you _should_not_ have been able to stay up for 76 hours, three bars and two different women without a hangover... all these things? Made possible by Crazy Juice™.

Like most neurobiological agents produced by the body, Crazy Juice™ can be depleted. Using too much of it, or not giving your body enough time on normal processes can have horrible short term and unknown long term effects. It is unclear at this time whether the cause of short term effects (which may include bleeding from the anus, nose, ears, wounds of unknown origin, nausea, lack of appetite, extreme hunger pangs, diarrhea, vertigo, gas, and increased potential for exposure to or contraction of several STD's) are a byproduct of Crazy Juice™ depletion, damage caused to the Crazy Juice™ production centre(s), or the actions taken part in while the body is supplementing normal functionality by using Crazy Juice™. There has been research that shows that most people with the Crazy Juice™ gene don't really give a fuck about the long term, so the focus is primarily on not running out of it when it is needed in the short term.

The leading pioneer in the field of Crazy Juice™ research, wangch61 created an intricate, yet amazingly effective series of tests and activities to verify gene carriers. Since his groundbreaking work, several other carriers have been identified, much to the excitement of several bars and 24 hour diners. This excerpt was written for circulation to the scientifically unindoctrinated in murnkay's journal, where the testing of Crazy Juice™ expenditure and it's effects continue to this day.
Tags: crazy juice, humor
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