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Noodles, Dinos, and Apocalyptic Happenings

So I think I may convert to Pastafarianism. My decision was sparked by reading this article which pretty clearly states the current affairs in terms of the “average Joe’s" understanding of the great wide world. Combine that with the recent group of dinosaur-based real estate purchases, and you end up with a public that will soon be looking to Disneyworld instead of the encyclopedia for scientific facts. Maybe the Fed will start underwriting Disney's general operations with grants for education.

But, we all knew that the U.S. is suffering from intellectual rot. I came here today to rant a little about what is going on down south.

blergeatkitty was good enough to post a synopsis of how our Commander in Chief has done in the last couple days.

Sunday, Monday

But wait, then I see shit like this email, likening the hurricane to a fetus, and therefore a sign of god’s wrath. Apparently the CCL did not notice that there are a metric fuckton more churches in old New Orleans then there are abortion clinics.

This country really makes me queasy. I have still not fully recovered my wits sufficiently to engage my family on the last major correspondence I got. Maybe I can move to Iraq. I mean, they are going to have a new constitution and stuff - maybe it will take a few years for the bullshit and corruption to overtake the democratic ideals (even if they are being forced upon a decidedly non-democratically inclined cultural group). But then, I read about the road their constitutional convention has taken and I realize, that is a shot in the dark.

For all its failings as a movie, one thing I loved about Starship Troopers was compulsory civil service to attain citizenship. If, in order to become ELIGIBLE for civil service, you had to pass a basic civics / intelligence exam, all the better. Oh yeah, tie citizenship to reproductive rights or something while you are at it - build your own utopia... Just add sea monkies.

I'm sorry I let my angst get the better of me - I really do have something constructive to say here.

Many of you who have known me for a long time know that I have long joked about "running away to" or "relocating" to New Orleans. Part of me is glad I never did - part of me wonders if I shouldn't. I have a couple friends there, there will clearly be opportunity to DO things once they pump the water out. Maybe this is an opportunity to be a part of the genesis of something, rather than constantly wishing for mass destruction and griping about the state of things.


( 25 comments — Leave a comment )
Aug. 31st, 2005 04:03 pm (UTC)
Man. I wholeheartedly agree, and may also join this religion. The pirate gear sold me.
Aug. 31st, 2005 04:30 pm (UTC)
man...you sure do love those pirates
Aug. 31st, 2005 04:38 pm (UTC)
Also monkeys, robots, and ninjas. Do Pastafarians accept Ninjas?
Aug. 31st, 2005 07:15 pm (UTC)
well, pirates are basically ninjas on water, so they kind of go hand in hand
Aug. 31st, 2005 07:17 pm (UTC)
ninjas on water are NOT pirates - garb, weapons, and sense of tradition are completely different.

not to mention goals in battle, and battle methodologies.

clearly, you are a udonologist trying to mask themself as a pastafarian.
Aug. 31st, 2005 07:36 pm (UTC)
Re: heretic!
why are the two mutually exclusive? pastafarianism merely states that the rise in global temperature is inexorably linked to the decline of piracy as a viable means of making a living, not that pirates are the be-all and end-all of civilization. global warming notwistanding, pirates still aren't cooler than pirate ninja monkeys.
Aug. 31st, 2005 07:41 pm (UTC)
i misassigned your heretical nature - you are one of those untiarian pasta-beleivers. the decline of piracy is DIRECTLY linked to the rise in ninjadom as a viable career option. pirate ninja monkeys simply seek to incorporate all the aspects of creation and destruction in a nice neat little package that is "appealing and inoffensive to all".

in the middle ages, you would be lightly sauteed in butter, then doused in a boiling pot of penne sauce until you recanted such herasy.
Aug. 31st, 2005 07:43 pm (UTC)
Re: bah
now you wait just a cotton-picking minute! (which, truth be told, is much longer than an average minute)

are we talking fresh penne sauce or from a jar?

show me where in the sacred texts is says that ninja-dom has ANYTHING to do with the decline of piracy!
Aug. 31st, 2005 07:59 pm (UTC)
jars pfft
they didn't HAVE jars in the middla ages!

as to the texts referring to ninjas as part of the decline of the sacred trade of piracy, it is clearly left UN stated. anything left out of the Tenticular Tome clearly must be evil. common sense fills in the gap here (duh). i mean, really, if ninjas had nothing to do with teh decline of piracy, we would have been watching teenage mutant pirate turtles as a youth.
Aug. 31st, 2005 08:11 pm (UTC)
Re: jars pfft
wait.....didnt the egyptiansd have jars?

like big ones.

Aug. 31st, 2005 08:16 pm (UTC)
they had urns, and amphorae, and canoptic containers (sometimes referred to as jars in the vernacular). the idea of a jar, as we know it (for the storing of perishable contents) is, relatively speaking, fairly new-age (last couple hundred years).

i'm sure people made little urns and containers for odds and ends in the middle ages, but they sure as hell weren't putting penne sauce in them!
Aug. 31st, 2005 08:21 pm (UTC)
the devil in the details
yeah i hear ya....i guess when you say jar you not only mean a small container to store goods....but also somehting along the lines of airsealed.

but man....if they had penne...they might have held off the romans.
Aug. 31st, 2005 09:36 pm (UTC)
Re: the devil in the details
i always thought the romans invented penne - right after ceaser finished his salad!

*ba dum ching*
Aug. 31st, 2005 09:36 pm (UTC)
Re: nope
not for the storage of perishables? what are you smoking? what can you think of that's more perishable than your internal organs?!?
Aug. 31st, 2005 09:31 pm (UTC)
Re: jars pfft
come on - turtles that wear eyepatches and say "yearg" all the time? who in their right mind would watch that?

of course, i never understood what was wrong with being in your left mind. i feel it's a highly underdeveloped piece of real estate that will see a boggling increase in value as your right mind gets full.
Aug. 31st, 2005 09:58 pm (UTC)
Re: heretic!
I'm in awe of your icon. Genius.
Sep. 1st, 2005 05:45 pm (UTC)
Re: heretic!
thank you. i'm rather proud, myself
Aug. 31st, 2005 08:12 pm (UTC)
man...you cant be anymore worng.

i mean well..you can be....but that would require a full conversion to scientology
Aug. 31st, 2005 09:33 pm (UTC)
you know, we threatened the woman's father with scientology when he made an issue of child-rearing in reference to religion.

frankly, i think it's one of the more honest of the religions - basically, the more money you give, the more you're saved. the same is true with most of the major players in the afterlife field, it's just left unsaid.
Aug. 31st, 2005 07:17 pm (UTC)
ninjas are the servants of the dark force of un-creation - the dark lord udon.
Aug. 31st, 2005 09:00 pm (UTC)
Hopefully the (lack of) reaction of the Shrub to all of this will be the silver lining. Im thinking once the Gulf Coast gets past the shock and into the anger and realise what their fearless leader has been doing? They'll not elect another republican for a century or so.
Aug. 31st, 2005 09:34 pm (UTC)
i'd love to agree, but we all saw him sit there for seven minutes on that fateful september morning. mike moore even made a whole blockbuster movie about him sitting there doing nothing. and he's still in office.

he might be unkillable.
Aug. 31st, 2005 11:22 pm (UTC)

However, remember NY voted against him. This time it's the South that's been effected directly, the Republican Party's traditonal stronghold, and still he did nothing. They may not forgive him so easily for this one.
Sep. 1st, 2005 05:46 pm (UTC)
right, but the south all believes that this hurricane is god sending a yellow flag down onto the field - and if anyone can give god a blowjob and make him happy, it's our chimp-in-chief.

was that too much? i can never tell :-p
Sep. 1st, 2005 02:16 pm (UTC)
( 25 comments — Leave a comment )


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