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it is like seeing a million dollars

one of my ex-business parters had, once upon a time, installed network-based security systems back in the early 90's down in virginia. he relished telling the story of the score he didn't make. apparently, one of the clients for the company he worked for was a storage facility for a shipping company that was subcontracting to the department of the treasury. they were installing this state-of-the-art security system because, apparently, this secluded warehouse complex was where the treasury department was storing bills and coins on the way to be destroyed. well, joe and his coworker are up on a rolling ladder, setting up motion sensors, when a bunch of guys with forklifts start loading the space. they were supposed to wait until the install of the security system was finished, but someone cocked up the schedule, and they began loading pallets full of plastic-tension sealed bills in little green cubes into the warehouse.

as two bozos were fifty feet above, installing the security system.

joe swore he always regretted not at least breaking into one of those pallets. i always joked that he was such a loser he would probably hit a stack of singles.

either way, it was one of the more interesting "what is the most amount of money have you ever seen at one time/place?" stories i ever heard.

the point of this missive, of course, has nothing to do with money, just the scarcity of seeing lots of it in one place. there is this old joke about a million dollars and faith:

"Do you believe in [insert deity name]?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"I've never seen [deity name], so why should I believe in him/her/it/them?"

"Have you ever seen a million dollars?"

"No."

"Then how do you know it exists, if you've never seen it?"

[insert revelation and damnation or salvation, depending which invisible man you believe in]

lame, for sure, but, poignant. today i saw something that is part of my rolling repertoire, but that i have never actually seen before.

a bus load of nuns.

no shit, as i was coming in to work, there was an entire bus loaded with korean nuns discharging passengers. i was so wrapped up in the moment, i didn't even think to snap a pic. by then, they had dissolved into mist and turned into wolves/bats, as nuns are wont to do.

but yeah, have you ever seen a bus load of nuns, or a million dollars?

Comments

( 18 comments — Leave a comment )
ttam
May. 18th, 2006 02:18 pm (UTC)
I used to work as a courier for the Federal Reserve.

I regularly carried sacks of 20-40 million dallars.

Does this make me God?
delascabezas
May. 18th, 2006 02:36 pm (UTC)
um
i'm going with the ghostbusters philosophy answer to that question and saying 'yes'. you are the god of three wheeled bikelike conveyances.
rakshaka
May. 18th, 2006 02:21 pm (UTC)
No and yes
delascabezas
May. 18th, 2006 02:38 pm (UTC)
nuns ar ethe only true undead
i have told you this theory, yes?
rakshaka
May. 18th, 2006 02:53 pm (UTC)
Re: nuns ar ethe only true undead
I don't think I've heard this one

Why just cause they never seem to die?
delascabezas
May. 18th, 2006 03:01 pm (UTC)
think about it
they operate in clandestine, secluded covens
they openly partake in regular blood rituals
they live forever
dawestruck
May. 18th, 2006 02:29 pm (UTC)
Lock & Load, Brides of Christ!
A busload of nuns. Wow.

Maybe they were on their way to Vegas to stop Chris Griffin from getting a quickie bar mitzvah.
delascabezas
May. 18th, 2006 02:38 pm (UTC)
ha
nah, i think they were going to convert all the krishnas in central park
shabbyrosy
May. 18th, 2006 02:30 pm (UTC)
i went to a filipino catholic school
so busload of nuns, yes.

million dollars, in my dreams. but in my dream it was canadian dollars.
delascabezas
May. 18th, 2006 02:37 pm (UTC)
Re: i went to a filipino catholic school
ha, so you might as well have seen an eighteen wheeler full of TP in that dream.
shabbyrosy
May. 18th, 2006 02:39 pm (UTC)
it was in denominations of 10 so it was purple TP.
delascabezas
May. 18th, 2006 02:41 pm (UTC)
canadian money
is the frosted lucky charms of the world currency.
toonies and loonies are the crunchy parts that nobody cares about, and their paper money is all the colors of the rainbow.
wangch61
May. 18th, 2006 04:22 pm (UTC)
Re: i went to a filipino catholic school
"million dollars, in my dreams. but in my dream it was canadian dollars."
damn
delascabezas
May. 18th, 2006 03:02 pm (UTC)
that is pretty boss
makes me want to start a profitable art collective
mightywombat
May. 18th, 2006 05:46 pm (UTC)
I was walking through the East VIllage last Friday and passed a Buddhist monk standing out on the sidewalk talking on a cell phone. I, too, was too in my own head, and just inebriated enough, to not think to take a picture.
delascabezas
May. 18th, 2006 08:18 pm (UTC)
that would make a great picture though
east meets monthly calling plan, i'd title it.
idram
May. 19th, 2006 02:20 am (UTC)
nuns on a bus
friend in college always talked about riding the skin bus to tuna town when it was a lucky night for him

guess the nuns would ride a different bus
( 18 comments — Leave a comment )

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delascabezas
The Son of the last of a long line of thinkers.
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