i did get out yesterday. we made it home okay, but as i was getting out of the car, the stupid little velcro strip holding my arm sling disengaged, and i totally ended up back in agony. I describe the night of my surgery as chasing the devil - i would be in a lot of pain, then get enough drugs in me that i could sleep, but i would sleep for a couple hours, which would mean i wasn't jamming on my drugs every hour, which meant i woke up in agony. I was released with a little medicine ball attached to a cathyeder on my neck, which is supposed to help numb my upper arm. last night was really more of the same in regards to pain & sleep. A. has been super through all this (she camped out in the hospital room w/ me, and has been my second pair of hands overall) - i just hope this doesn't burn her out. i know the surgery was a good thing, rationally, but, in terms of my present condition, morale is way down, and i feel like i took a huge step back in tgerms of pain management and self sufficency.

hopefully, i fly back to ny tomorrow. i am supposed to be seeing my doc in a few hours, and he is going to give me a once over, change my half-cast into a brace, and (man i hope) give me double thumbs for flying tomorrow. w/ my medicine ball and metal plates though, i am sure that the lovely gov't reps of our homeland security will be nothing but understanding and helpful at securty.

i am jack's marvelously mangled morale.

hope everyone else is hunky dory - thanks for all the well wishes guys.