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fucking death by Ikea (almost)

So, one thing I'm short on in the new spot is storage space. Part of the reason for the inordinate amount of time spent at Ikea is/was to secure said storage. A. and I got three of these fuckers.

Now, I'm not an engineer, and those Swedes are downright crafty at balancing pegs and predrilled holes. That being said, the whole deal weighs about 130lbs. I'd guess it is about 50 lbs per side, with the top and bottom each weighing about 10 lbs. All of this is held together by two wooden pegs and three predrilled screws per corner. We are talking about a 40" wide 96" tall cabinet here. For those who dislike long division, that is 8 feet tall.

They give you two assembly directions. One to assemble upright (which requires a ladder) the other to assemble on the ground, then lift. I went for the ground. Things went really well, until it was time to stand the fucker up.

I made it 95% of the way, and then it crunched. All the wood on one side gave way, and the whole thing folded like, well, particle board under pressure.

This resulted in a somewhat comical dance on my part, as I tried to dodge a collapsing 8 foot tower. I got most of the way out of the way, but the top gave me a good crack in the skull.

Now I have to dance through customer service hell to try and get the fucking thing replaced.

I am beginning to hate Ikea.


( 6 comments — Leave a comment )
Aug. 20th, 2008 03:00 pm (UTC)
this says everything you need to know about ikea
Aug. 20th, 2008 03:02 pm (UTC)
that is pretty funny
i've used their stuff for years, and never had problems with instructions or assembly - i think this is a case of "if someone is buying a piece this big, they probably will have someone else install it".
Aug. 20th, 2008 03:02 pm (UTC)
I hate Ikea.

I have 3 items in my apartment from Ikea. Two are free standing closets -- metal frame with cloth curtains. One is a table which I bought second hand. Both are perfect for my space and I couldn't find similar items elsewhere (why do all free standing closets have zippers? wtf?). But, generally I hate the look and I despise shopping there.
Aug. 20th, 2008 03:03 pm (UTC)
i really don't hate on it - you get what you pay for. this time though, i almost got more!
Aug. 20th, 2008 03:58 pm (UTC)
when we got married we were all "oh we're adults, we should buy adult furniture now, none of this ikea bullshit," and spent a ridiculous amount of money at fucking ethan allen. then we realized that it really doesn't make a goddamn difference if our coffee table is particleboard or solid wood, because by the time the ikea stuff starts falling apart we're sick of looking at it anyway and want something new. the next time we needed furnishings we headed back to ikea. we're already planning a trip to the sd one. we were fools to ever stray.
Aug. 20th, 2008 04:48 pm (UTC)
DUDE. I assume you're ok by virtue of the fact that you posted about it instead of shopping off to the ER. Still, ouch.

And now you know... time to use the ladder. Or Yiaoh Ming.

( 6 comments — Leave a comment )


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