The Son of the last of a long line of thinkers. (delascabezas) wrote,
The Son of the last of a long line of thinkers.

fucking death by Ikea (almost)

So, one thing I'm short on in the new spot is storage space. Part of the reason for the inordinate amount of time spent at Ikea is/was to secure said storage. A. and I got three of these fuckers.

Now, I'm not an engineer, and those Swedes are downright crafty at balancing pegs and predrilled holes. That being said, the whole deal weighs about 130lbs. I'd guess it is about 50 lbs per side, with the top and bottom each weighing about 10 lbs. All of this is held together by two wooden pegs and three predrilled screws per corner. We are talking about a 40" wide 96" tall cabinet here. For those who dislike long division, that is 8 feet tall.

They give you two assembly directions. One to assemble upright (which requires a ladder) the other to assemble on the ground, then lift. I went for the ground. Things went really well, until it was time to stand the fucker up.

I made it 95% of the way, and then it crunched. All the wood on one side gave way, and the whole thing folded like, well, particle board under pressure.

This resulted in a somewhat comical dance on my part, as I tried to dodge a collapsing 8 foot tower. I got most of the way out of the way, but the top gave me a good crack in the skull.

Now I have to dance through customer service hell to try and get the fucking thing replaced.

I am beginning to hate Ikea.


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