11. He's just borrowing the keys to his father's 1991 consent.
10. Lawyers expect it will be easier to defend attacking Iraq than to keep Dick Cheney out of prison.
9. Hired legal team away from Vinson & Elkins, the firm that represented Enron.
8. Constitution? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
7. 5-4 favorable ruling by the Supreme Court is guaranteed regardless of the absurdity of the argument.
6. Darth Cheney used the Jedi mind trick on them.
5. He's gonna do it anyway.
4. John Ashcroft is in charge of the complaint department.
3. It's a politically expedient outgrowth of the moral lassitude of the legal profession in the post-Clinton era
2. Al Qaeda killed a retriever puppy!
1. Dubya promised them all seats on the Supreme Court.